Dear Diary [h.s. au]

Chapter Twenty-One.

(A/N: I was a tease with that last chapter wasn't I ? Well, you have this new one to clear some things up. Don't forget to read the note at the end okay ? K, bye)

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DREA’S POV

The worst part of it all is: I don’t regret it. I don’t regret having sex with Harry. Yeah we were drunk but it felt so good....

Of course I still love Louis that is unquestionable but, Harry is so important to me now. I’ve realized that when he was deeply asleep after our night and I kept staring at him smiling.

I am indeed falling in love with him, even though I don’t want to.

I am getting better but what if it’s just a matter of time before it all collapses again ?

Harry still doesn’t know one of my secrets, the one I feel most guilty of: the car accident.

My past is so dark I don’t feel like someone can handle this much. But if he handled until here, I think he can handle knowing more.

I can’t stop thinking about Harry’s hands all over me, the way he kissed me, the way he said my name, the way he kept saying things that took me to the moon, the way he held me while he was sleeping…

Every memory of that night keeps replaying in my head, especially when he thrusted into me. Do you know what was the only thing that went through my mind ? How he was bigger than Louis. I could’ve thought about a million different things but no I had to think about his length. I wanted to slap myself. 

“You’re coming to the game Friday night, right ?” – Harry played with strings of my hair.

“What ?” - I wasn't paying any attention to him.

“I asked you if you were coming to the game. What’s going on with you ? You seem a bit out.” – He lifted my chin.

“It’s nothing, I’m just thinking about the Literature essay I have to do with Louise.” – I rolled my eyes.

He sighed. – “I told you to stay away from her didn’t I ?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t have a choice. Or I’d do the essay with her, or I’d have to ask Zayn.”

“Fuck no.”

“Thought so. Louise is better than Zayn as far as I know.” – I shrugged. – “But, yeah I am coming to the game, don’t worry. You’ll see me there.” – I brushed my nose against his.

We haven't discussed our situation yet. Ever since that night we’ve acted like a couple without actually being one. It was weird, but I felt safe and happy around him.

The bullying stopped as soon as the rumor about me dating Harry spread. In that college, rumors spread faster than the speed of light, it’s unreal.

Everyone is actually being nice to me. Basically every single person in my class talks to me at least once a day. I am not that good with names so I don’t know not even half of them but it’s okay. I don’t need to, I have no intends on being their friend.

I am perfectly fine with just Harry and Louise.

I scooted closer to Harry, sitting between his legs and surrounding them with my arms. I rested my head on his chest, closing my eyes.

We were sitting in the grass against a tree, somewhere in the middle of campus.

“You know, I was thinking…” – Harry surrounded me with his arms keeping me close. – “We should go on a date.” – I chuckled. – “Hear me out. We’ve never been into a proper one and your birthday doesn’t count.” – He kissed my cheek.