Dear Diary [h.s. au]

Chapter Nineteen.

(A/N: This chapter will answer to a lot of your questions....)

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Zayn's POV

Fucking asshole.

My fucking face hurts if I try to move a muscle, my clothes are all dirty and I can't even move my fucking hands without bleeding a bit.

I can't say I didn't deserve it though, because I did.

I gotta be honest, I am a dick head. All I do is fuck up people's lifes. I fucked up Harry's life, I fucked up Emily's life, I fucked up Louise's life, I almost fucked up Drea's life...

Drea.

I never thought it was so severe. I mean, her condition. 

"Oh sorry." - I bumped into someone.

Great this is just great.

I was stumbling across campus to try to find my way to the nurses' office but the pain was too much.

Everything hurt, but what hurt the most was my heart.

You must think "yeah sure what heart ? by the things you've done you don't have a heart you have a fucking iceberg in its place". I don't. I really have a heart.

Ever since Emily that I don't do anything right. I almost got two girls killed cause all I wanted to do was getting them in my bed and dump them right on the next day.

I am a fucking idiot.

I deserve every punishment in the world. Harry's was just the warm up.

I know I'll get even more beaten up in a near future.

"Zayn, are you ok ?" - One of my team mates tried to reach me.

"Let me go, I'm fine."

"You look awful, you were pretty beaten up."

"How do you know I was- You know what ? Nevermind. This is none of your business."

"That freak is really getting into your head isn't she ? First, you make us stop talking to her, then you try to be her friend and now you got beaten up by that stupid ass football player because of her. You've hit rock bottom, mate."

"Fuck you ok ?" - I yelled. - "I was just trying to solve things with her! All we've been doing isn't right !!! It was never right, I don't know what I was thinking... You know what ? Fuck you ! Fuck all of you !" - I turned my back on him and the rest of the crew and entered the main building.

"Zayn, mate!"

"What now ?!?!!?" - I turned around to meet Trevor, my right hand in the crew.

"Max didn't mean it, man. You know he didn't. The crew doesn't hate you or anything, we're just surprised about your actions. He was just a little bit irritated cause we lost the game this morning."

"Fuck the game ! He didn't have the right to cuss me out ! I know what I am doing and I am happy about it."

"But you got beaten up about it."

"Yeah, but well shit happens." - I shrugged and ouch.

That hurt.

I groaned in pain. - "Come on, I'll help you get to Linn's office."

"So now we're on the names' base ??"

Trevor blushed. - "She's sweet man, stop teasing."

"Sure." - I chuckled but another wave of pain ran across my body.