Dear Diary [h.s. au]

Chapter Forty-Two.

(A/N: I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN SO MUCH IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. There is a bit of smut at the end so if you don't want to read it, well... skip to my note at the end)

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“Louis, we need to have a serious talk.”

“Is something wrong mum?”

“You have to apologize to Drea. I don’t care how or when, you just have to do it. That girl is a wreck and it’s your entire fault. I get why you’re mad, but you shouldn’t. What happened wasn’t her fault. She tried to get you back did you know that? She went to that damn house every day to see if she could sneak you out somehow but those bastards moved you to some safe house. She cried endless days and nights, hell she even tried to kill herself!” – I thought I had seen a ghost. The blood was completely drained out of my face. – “I knew that you going there wasn’t a good idea because of her but your sister insisted so much I couldn’t say no. But Louis, you shouldn’t have gone all crazy like that at her. The poor thing didn’t know where to hide herself. She tried to move on, tried to take you out of her head. But you ruined everything, her boyfriend even broke up with her! I don’t know the reason, Fatima didn’t tell me but Drea looks like a corpse. Please do something about it son, Fatima doesn’t know what to do with Drea anymore. Therapy isn’t working, she doesn’t talk. She just sits there staring at nothing until session is over. Medication isn’t working either, she refuses to take them. She can’t sleep, she barely eats, barely talks and locks herself up in her room all day.”. – I stared at the wall in front of me. – “Please go talk to her, this can’t continue like this. If you still care about her in some way, bring her back.”

 “Mum, I don’t even how I am going to start. I know those things I said weren’t right, I know that now, I’ve been thinking about what happened for a while. I’m scared. What if she hates me now? What if she shuts me off and doesn’t want to see me? I mean, I get it but I couldn’t bare it. Mum, I’m still in love with her.”

“Wait, hold on a second. Are you sure about that?”

“Yeah, mum I am. All I was able to think about since that day was her. She can’t leave my head. Due to recent events, it made everything worse. I tried to make her disappear but she won’t go away and I’ve realized the reason why just a few moments ago. I’m still in love with her. I don’t know if this is possible, I don’t know if it was because of my memory coming back, all I know is I love her to death and I wish I could take it all back. You know, what I said to her.” – I ran my hands through my hair.

“Then if you still love her like you say you do, don’t let her go. Not like this.”

“I’m gonna see what I can do, but it’s gonna be a tough job mum. She’s refusing to talk to me.”

“Just try, Lou please. For her own sake.”

“I will mum. I love you.”

“I love you too sweetie.” – She hung up.

 

I haven’t seen nor talked to Drea in two weeks. I kept saying to myself it was a good thing not seeing her but my heart said otherwise.

My feelings are growing back. Is this even possible? I mean, I had amnesia for over a year and when everything came back my feelings for her came back as well. Does this make sense at all? I am going crazy.