Dear Diary [h.s. au]

Chapter Sixty-Six.

Pregnancy is the happiest reason ever for feeling like crap.

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“Urgh, I’m fat!” – I tried to make the stupid dress fit me.

Of course it couldn’t. I was 30 weeks pregnant. Nothing fitted me anymore.

“I look like a whale!” – I ended up breaking the zip of the dress. – “Great. This was my favorite dress.” – I started sobbing.

“Hey, why are you crying?” – Harry came into the room.

He took me in his arms. – “I’m fat and not desirable. I miss my old, skinny body!” – I sobbed in his chest.

He laughed. – “You’re not fat. You have a baby growing inside of you, it’s a complete different situation, Drea.” – He kissed my forehead. – “And I’d totally bang you right now if I could. You’re still as beautiful to me as you were before.”

“Stop it, I don’t deserve it.” – I was still standing there in the middle of my closet, with a wrecked dress and my makeup ruined.

“Yes you do. You deserve that and more.” – He helped me getting off of that stupid dress.

“Stop being so understanding and lovable!” – I threw a pillow at him. – “You’re making things more difficult! Yell at me! Tell me I’m stupid and fat and useless!”

“Drea,” – He sighed. – “You’re way too emotional right now. Can you calm down ? I’ll help you choosing an outfit. We’re already late.”

“I’m sorry.” – I pouted.

“You don’t have to be sorry.” – He grabbed my hands and pecked my lips. – “I love you.” – He smiled. – “And you too baby.” – He bent over and placed a soft kiss on my belly.

We had to go over to mum’s for dinner. I don’t know why though, she just said she wanted all family to be there because it was important.

Harry helped me getting into a dress. God bless Heather for going shopping with me. She bought me these cute mummy outfits. I was thrilled.

But I couldn’t wear heels. They hurt my feet and I couldn’t wear them for being pregnant. I hate my life.

“See? You look beautiful.” – He handed me my jacket.

“You always say that.”

Harry was taking this pregnancy way too calmly. He was always near me, asking if I needed something, always telling me sweet stuff whenever I felt less desirable. He even changed stuff around the house because I couldn’t stand the smell of some things.

He stopped wearing cologne because it made me nauseous. Even though it doesn’t bother me anymore and I used to love his smell. Maybe when this baby is out I’ll tell him to start wearing it again.

I can’t even drive anymore! Seriously, this is infuriating! I still go to work though, but Harry is the one who drives me every morning. Unless he has some big case in his hands that he has to work hard on and has to leave the house earlier than usual. In those special cases, Louis is the one who drives me. We work together so it’s cool. Plus, he takes me home and sometimes stops for a snack which I am thankful for. I’ve been craving a lot of weird stuff lately.

For example, right now I want chocolate. But not just any chocolate, no. I want Swiss chocolate. You know, the one that is stuffed with strawberry. God I love it.