Unraveling What We Want

3: Decisions

Gracen's view

I widened my eyes in shock looking at the letter. Three whole years traveling nonstop, that's not exactly what I was hoping to get. I sigh and throw the letter on the table and look up to see Emery deep in thought. I was too wrapped up in my own mind to pay attention to how Emery was taking this all in.

"Em. Hey, I'm not going okay. There's no way going on this study abroad is possible for me," I say as I pull her in and wrap my arms around her waist and I rest my head on her shoulder.

"Gracen, this is a big opportunity for you. It could help your career," she simply comments.

"Well, I would have thought you would be thrilled to hear that I don't want to go," I say rolling my eyes at her.

"Of course I'm happy you don't want to go, but this is a big deal, and I don't want to hold you back. This is something you really need to think about, Gracen," Emery explained to me.

"Emery, it's not. I have everything I want here. I have my family, friends, a job, college, and you. There's no reason for me to go. I love my life here," I reply.

"But you always wanted to travel and see the world and learn so many different cultures. I don't want you to regret your decision."

I caress her face and say, "I'm not going to regret a thing. I never will," and I give her a long kiss.

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Emery's view

1 week later

"Jordie, I need your help, please," I beg after we get our Starbucks drink and sit down at a table outside.

"What can I aid you in Em?" asked Jordie taking a long sip of his coffee.

First, I fill him in on Gracen's scholarship and ask, "What am I supposed to do? I don't want her to go, but making her stay if she wants to go is worse. She keeps telling me she doesn't want to go, but this scholarship has literally been her dream."

"That's tough Emery. Maybe she actually doesn't want to go?"

"How could she not want to go? This chance sounds amazing, plus she loves cultural studies so much," I add.

"I don't know Emery. She probably really doesn't want to go and you're just obsessing over it. I say, just leave it alone, okay," Jordie says.

"I guess you're right. She does get annoyed when I bring it up, I'll stop."

"See, I think it is better to not bring it up anymore," Jordie adds.

"Okay," I say, but I still have a nagging feeling in the back of my mind no matter what I do, I can't stop thinking about the scholarship.

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Gracen's view

"So, what have you decided for the scholarship?" asked my sister, Spencer.

"I'm not going to go."

"Okay," she merely says pouring cereal in her bowl.

"That's it? Just okay?"

You're an adult now. You can make your own decisions,"

"Wow, that's new. Mom, dad and Emery have been on my case for days now."

"They just want what's best for you," she replies.

"I know, but what's best for me is right here. My family, friends, and girlfriend are here. There's nothing better out there for me."

"Okay," she says indifferently to my explanation.

"Okay? Are you doing reverse psychology on me or something?"

Spencer sighs and replies, "No, I'm not Gracen. I trust whatever you decide. You run your life, not anyone else. So, don't start doing what others tell you to now. DO whatever the hell it is you want to do."

"Thanks Spence," I say hugging her, feeling so overwhelmed with love.

"No problem baby sis," she says holding me tight.