Unraveling What We Want

15: 1 year and some time later

Gracen's view

"I thought you were going to tell her how in love you were with her and fight for her?" asks Jasmine in disbelief as I hang up the phone.

"What was the point, I could hear it in her voice, Emery wasn't going to fight for us anymore," I say sadly.

Jasmine get up and hugs me again, "It's okay. You'll get through this."

"How?" I ask as tears roll down my cheeks.

"Day by the day, it will be better," Jasmine says.

Who knew Jasmine would be so wrong. Days, weeks, months passed and I still think about her every day. I still have dreams of where we are together and the happiest person in the whole entire world, but that happiness vanishes the minute I wake up. I have this emptiness inside of me that I cannot fix, no matter how much time I spent on working in my job, no matter how much time I spent studying, no matter how much I drink, no matter how many other girls I date. I can't let go of Emery.

No one even comes close to her. And nothing can keep my mind of off her, even after almost two years.

I wish I could just hear her voice again, but I can't, it would be weird to call her after so much time has passed. I wonder what she is doing and if she is dating anyone else? Don't go down that rabbit hole, I force myself to think about something else.

Due to the amount of dedication I have been adding to the research, we are actually getting somewhere faster than anyone anticipated. Going to work is probably the only thing that has made me happy lately, which I know is sad, but oh well.

After work, all I do is study, drink, hang out girls. I know, I'm on a downward spiral, but I can't help it. I can't find anything else to fill that emptiness in me, but drinking and going out with other girls makes me momentarily forget it.

I finally make it back to my dorm room and see Jasmine getting ready for her date, "Hey. How was work?"

"Good," I answer back as I lay down in my bed.

"I'm going out with Roger. So I'll see you later, unless you sleep with another girl. Then I'll see you in the morning," she replies.

"Hey, I probably won't go out tonight, I'm tired, I will probably get some sleep," I tell her.

"That's what you always say," she says as she is doing her makeup.

I stay quiet; there is no use in arguing with her. She's right.

She notices that I don't respond and comes over to me, "Hey, look I'm sorry. I just wish you wouldn't waste your life away like this. There is more than working on your research, school, drinking and sex. Live your life and try to do something else that makes you happy. Why don't you try calling your family, I can't even remember the last time you talked to them."

She's right about that too; I haven't talked to my family in a couple of months. I bet my sister and brother are going to be so angry with me. But, I wouldn't know what to tell them.

I push that thought aside, and say goodbye to Jasmine. When I know she has left with her boyfriend, I get changed and head out to the bar. I order my regular drink and looks around and spot this hot blondie looking at me. I give her a smile before walking over to her.

I Know I will probably regret this in the morning, but right now I just don't care enough. I just want to feel good right now.

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Emery's view

Life has not been easy for me in the slightest after Gracen and I broke up. It was so hard for me that first year. I refused to date or be seeing any other person, I would always compare someone to Gracen and they would never be enough.

So, I mostly focused on school and finished my last year, I graduated and got accepted to a medical school in the area. Everything seemed like it was turning out fine for me and my family. My twin brothers also graduated and moved back home, so I'm never really alone. I love having them back in my life so much.

After school I got a job that pays well and gives me flexible hours so I can still go to school, and hang out with my friends. Speaking of friends, I'm hanging out with them now.

Seeing Clare talk about how serious her relationship with her boyfriend Riley is, Jordie talking about how proud he is that his artwork is being shown in an exhibit, and how Colby and his brother recently decided to open a business, makes me so happy. I am excited for each and every one of us, we are all going in wonderful direction and I can't help but feel good about all the choices I have made, even if they were though.

"Earth to Emery!," Clare says as she waves her hands in my face, "So, what's your excuse?"

"My excuse? For what?" I ask.

"For not dating? You need to get back out there. I know a few people you might like," Clare offers.

I laugh it off and tell her, "I was just so focused on other things that I left dating out, but now I have more time and freedom to do that. Thanks for the offers, but I'll find someone I like eon my own," I reply.

"Aww, okay, but I must be the first to know if you date someone," she says.

I look over at Colby and notice he is looking at me in a different way. I'm a little confused, but let it slide and continue conversing with others.

After we all decide to leave, Colby pulls me aside to ask, "Hey, I know you just think of me as a friend, but I just want to give it one last shot. How would you feel if I asked you out?"

"I don't know about that?" I tell him hesitantly.

"We could go for dinner and a movie, and see where it goes from there. If it's awkward, we will never talk about it again and stay friends," I says chuckling.

His dedication to try it out is cute and after thinking about if for a little I accept his offer and make a plan to meet him on the weekend.