Unraveling What We Want

38:It's okay to Feel

Gracen's view

After a while of sitting in the hospital I could tell Emery was really tired. She stopped crying by now and could barely keep her eyes open. So, I gently pulled her up with me and we headed out of the hospital together. I helped her get into the car and I drove to her apartment.

When we sat down on her couch she looked up at me with red puffy eyes saying, "I'm sorry."

"You have no right to say sorry, Emery," I answer pulling her in for a hug.

"...but, I yelled at you and avoided you, so why are you here now?" she asks.

I gently grabbed her chin to make her look me in the eyes as I said, "I will always be here for you, no matter what."

Emery started tearing up again and I pulled her into my embrace and she broke down crying. I understand that everything today must be so emotionally hard for her. So I hold her in my arms until she stops crying and falls asleep. Even then I don't let go of her, I don't want to and eventually I fall asleep too.

The next morning I wake up and look down and Emery is not in my arms anymore. I look around the room scanning it to find her and notice she's in the kitchen. I rub my eyes and get up to go into the kitchen and say, "Hey, you shouldn't be doing this. I could have made breakfast."

"I need to do something to get my mind of off yesterday a little," she responds.

"You need to mourn, Emery. It's okay to show your emotions. It's okay to be pissed off and sad and cry," I tell her.

"I don't want to do any of those things anymore. I just want to get passed this however way I can."

"Emery, you don't need to hold it in. You don't need to pretend for anyone. You shouldn't pretend to be okay in front of me," I say walking closer to her to hug tightly from behind.

"I have to be strong now, I need to help with the funeral plans and I know I'm the only one who would actually do it for him. I need to be okay to do it. I need to do this for him and Luna," she says.

"You need to stop doing things for other people. Think of yourself for once, Emery."

"I can't, Gracen."

"Yes you can. Everybody else can wait; you need to put yourself first. I know it's hard, but you have to understand that you matter just as much as everyone else," I tell her.

Emery doesn't try to fight me back, all she does is turn around and hug me back. I just hope one day she can listen to my advice and get that she's important too.

I let go of her because my phone started ringing and I went to get it while Emery continued making food. My parents were worried that I never came home last night and were so close to calling the police so I ate with Emery fast and left. I had to explain why I was with Emery to my parents.

"Why didn't you come home last night, young lady," questioned my dad trying not to laugh at that last part he added.

"Emery's dad passed away yesterday and I stayed the night with her. I couldn't just leave her alone," I explain.

My mom frowned and sighed, "That poor girl has been through so much."

"She deserves the world after everything that happened to her," adds my dad.

"Yeah, she does," I mumble.

"So, you were with her when she heard the news?" asked my mom.

"No, Clare told me and I drove to the hospital to be with Emery," I explain.

"Despite everything that happened between you guys the other day, you still ran to her without hesitation when she needed you. I think that's called a special word," grinned my mom.

"Love. The only way you would drop anything to be with someone no matter what," commented my dad.

"You love her with all your heart again?" asked my mom.

"I never stopped," I simply reply.

'Have you told her?" asked my dad.

"Kind of."

"Kind of? That doesn't work. Tell her everything you feel when you are with her," says dad.

"But, I'm leaving," I respond.

"Doesn't matter. You two belong together. I know it. I just want to see you and Emery happy," adds my mom.

"Okay. I promise to try one last time with Emery," I say hugging my parents.

I know Emery has such strong feelings for me, she even said so. I just have to show her that if she gives us another chance, I would love her for the rest of my life.