Broken Things (A Supernatural FanFic)

Chapter 46: Envy the Love They Shared

            Sam sat in the impala quietly as Cas stood in front of the hood. Sam had his face in his hands and he was trying to get his thoughts in order. He asked for a moment to be alone. They had just gotten out of the hospital where the young girl was. Her name had been Abby Silverman. She was young and from the pictures her smile could light up a whole room. Cas and Sam walked in the doors as the doctors took the time of death. She had hung herself in her room with a makeshift rope from her robe. Sam had never seen such an ugly smile on a young dead body. Her mouth had been twisted in a gruesome grimace.

            Sam was still trying to get the image from his mind when he heard voices above him. He looked up to see Cas standing with his arm out toward Dean and Emily. Sam opened the door and quickly got out to greet his brother and sister. When his eyes met Emily’s, he felt a shiver run down his spine. Just as when her eyes fell on his, she knew what he had scene. She gave him a comforting smile and he felt a smile appear on his own face.

            When he got close he stepped in front of Cas and hugged both Dean and Emily in one giant bear hug. He just wanted to feel their closeness after the death he had scene. He wanted this to wipe it from his mind. Emily touched his shoulder and he felt good. He felt better. He pulled back and saw Dean raising an eyebrow at him. Emily held onto his arm and just smiled softly.

            “Cas told us about Abby.” Dean whispered. “I am sorry you had to see that.”

            Sam took a step back and broke Emily’s hold on him. The image appeared to him again. He looked at Emily and wondered if she had forced it out of his mind when she was touching him. But he shook his head and shrugged.

            “I am just glad to be out of there. What were you guys doing?” He wanted the subject changed from Abby.

            “We went to Abby’s house.” Dean explained. “Emily saw the whole thing. Even knows that Abby had summoned this thing. She heard about it from other little rugrats. I bet that she thought he was some fairytale or something.”

            “And what she got was a monster and dead parents.” Cas whispered in the most heartbreaking voice.

            They all looked at him a minute. They weren’t expecting so much emotion in his voice. It was like a ringing in their ears that wouldn’t subside. Emily finally let go of Dean’s hand and stepped over to Cas. Cas stared into her eyes with nervous blinks and a fearful grimace. He knew that she would realize what was different about him. When her eyes opened wide at him he knew she knew. He wanted to ask her not to say anything.

            “Cas, why?” She whispered softly.

            “Why what?” Dean asked loudly.

            “I had to.” Cas whispered and couldn’t break the stare at her eyes.

            Emily’s eyes flashed gold. “If this is what you want, then I am happy for you. But this isn’t going to be easy. Everything is new to you. Everything is going to be different.” But her hand fell on his shoulder.

            He felt at ease under her touch. He felt that everything was going to be okay. He gave her a wide childlike smile. “I am ready to start over with this family. I think that I deserve at least this much.”

            “What are you saying, Cas?” Sam asked puzzled at the conversation that was going on.

            Cas stared at Emily and took a deep breath. His eyes wondered over to Sam. He looked at Dean last. Dean was the human that Cas felt a special love toward. He pulled him from perdition. Cas felt that it was Dean that really made him see the better sides to humanity.

            “I clipped my wings.” Cas let the words slowly pour out of his mouth.

            “Are you serious, Cas?” Dean asked in shock but a small smirk of pride appeared on his face.

            Cas nodded and pulled at the collar of his shirt. “Yes. I am no longer an Angel of the Lord. I have fallen from Grace. I no longer possess a celestial being. I am just a human. Jimmy Novak is now in Heaven among the better men where he always wanted to be.”

            “What made you- I mean why now?” Sam asked a little cautious of how he sounded.

            Cas shrugged but before he could answer Emily spoke with a hushed voice. “Zachariah can’t find you now. None of the angels can. You were afraid that they would make you talk. That you would give us up, or they would brainwash you. So you gave up what meant the most to you-“

            “You’re wrong.” Cas interrupted her with a voice that reminded all of them of Castiel when he first appeared to them. Only now, his voice was strong with emotion and not power. It was fueled by the heart, not by his wings. “You three are the most important thing to me. You took me in when I was your enemy, you trusted me time and time again. You gave me the option to do what I wanted and what I thought was right. My so called ‘family’ was never like that. I show the least bit of doubt and they send my brothers and sisters to kill me.” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Being by your side is the only thing I can see myself doing, even if I cant help as much as I once could.”

            No one knew what to say exactly when Cas grew quiet. But the room seemed to lighten when Dean walked up to Cas and wrapped his arms around his broad shoulders in a friendly hug. Cas let out a sigh of relief and hugged Dean back. Emily smiled softly and Sam set his arm on her shoulders. It was the moment that an outsider looking in would be jealous of the four of them. That people would stop and envy the love they shared. If only they could see the omninous road of pain that lay ahead of them.