I woke up and started freaking out I was trapped by arms I tried to get up and run but the the arms tightened and pulled me back. Ivan: babygirl shhhh it's okay the arm then put a hand on my forehead to pull me closer Jess: Ivan is that you Ivan: yes princess lay down it's 6:00am Jess: no I want to go for a run Ivan: take your phone and don't be long please Jess:Okay can you let go of me now Ivan: oh yeah He released his grip and I ran to my closet to change I put this on
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Then I ran downstairs and out of the house. I ran to Ralph's and bought a bag of goldfish and a bottle of water I pulled a ten dollar bill out of my phone case and handed it to him I said just keep the change. I walked out and ran to the park and sat down with my water and goldfish and just enjoyed being in la away from my dads abuse. I also did a lot of thinking which I should not have done. I started thinking about how I was raped and wondering if I should tell Ivan, I mean we got to the hickey stage but I don't think I'm ready to pass that. I started to cry just by remembering that happening to me. Then this guy probably around my age walks over to me Guy: hi beautiful Jess: go away Guy: no you are crying Jess: no shit now leave me alone He grabbed my wrist and said no princess Jess: let go of me now Guy: no come with me Jess: no please let me go He started pulling me along with him we walked into a hotel and he pulled me up with him. So many things are rushing through my mind like I can't believe this is happening again. God what is it always me. Ivan is gonna be terrified and pissed. I'm scared. Guy: We are here princess Jess:Okay Guy: Are you a virgin beautiful Jess: yes I lied but he can't know I was raped before. Everything went in slow motion as he took all of my clothes off and all of his off. He put me on the bed on my hands and knees as he harshly put himself in me. I started to moan and so did he. He kept going but I wanted it all to stop I wanted to die. TIME SKIP He finished and got dressed and left it is like 1 am I haven't been home for like 19 hours Ivan is probably freaking out I texted him my location and I told him to ask for a key from the lady. I was still naked and I couldn't move because he hurt me. I just wanted Ivan to hold me. 3 minutes later Ivan Came busting through the door and I was balling my eyes out and still naked so he immediately covered me up. He then pulled my head into his chest and said its okay Ivan: babygirl I'm sorry I knew I should have came with you Jess: it's okay it's not like this hasn't happened before. Ivan: I have Jake with me at the door Jess:Okay can I just get dressed and we just go home please. Ivan: of course baby He dressed me then bridal style carried me to the door where Jake was and he hugged me and said are you okay Jess: no but I will be We walked to the team ten van and Jake started to drive I just fell asleep in Ivan's arms where I felt safe IVANS POV Jessica has been gone for 19 hours and I am freaking out I need her back here with me. Emilio has been trying to calm me down and chance was with Tessa and Erika was with Jake. Everyone was crying then I got a text with her location. I screamed JAKE Jake: what what happened Ivan: get the keys I know where she is We got the keys and ran to the team ten van. We arrived at the hotel and I got a key to go in and she was laying there naked. I told Jake to wait at the door and I ran over to her and covered her up then she sat up and hugged me. She was balling her eyes out so I just said shh it will be okay I'm here now. We walked down to the van and sat down she sat on my lap bridal style and fell asleep I can't believe that happened to her again Jake: what do you mean again I froze knowing that I said it out loud Ivan: I will explain later Jake Okay We arrived at the team ten house and I carried Jess into her room and laid her on the bed then I went down to talk to Jake Jake: are you explaining now Ivan: yes so The night that we were in Ohio after our date we came home Alison her best friend pulled me out of the room to talk to me and she said that nobody in her family gives a shit about her and that she has ptsd from being raped and that I just needed to be there for her. And it's all my fault that this happened again I tried to hold back my tears but I failed to. Jake just stayed silent. Then he walked over to me and hugged me. Jake: Ivan it is not at all your fault this happened again Ivan: yes it is she wanted to go on a walk and I let her I knew I should have went but I didn't Jake: well stop complaining about what you can't change and go up there and hold her and be with her. Ivan: Okay thanks Jake Jake: go now I ran upstairs and got into her bed and pulled her into my chest and whispered I love you so freaking much Jessica Ann.
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