I woke up in a good mood. I tossed Ivan's arms off of me and ran into my closet to get dressed for the day. I don't know why but I was super happy. I checked the time and it was ten am. I took a pill and chose my outfit.
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I put this on then walked downstairs. I got a pop tart and sat down at the table scrolling through Instagram when Jake walked into the room Jake: hey Jess Jess: what's up Jake: nothing what are you doing. Today Jess: I don't know yet I might go somewhere with Tessa Jake: oh cool Jess: yeah Jake left to go start the vlog and I ran upstairs to Tessa's room. I knocked and she said I could come in. I walked in and she was laying in bed with Chance. My heart started to race. Jess: um nevermind I will be back later. I walked out and everything got dizzy. I took a breathe and shook my head and I was fine again. Chance and I still are not talking and I know I need to. I felt bad for snapping at them but everything was just so threatening. I calmed down and went into my room. Ivan was still sleeping so I just sat on the edge of my side of the bed. I had nobody to do anything with. All of a sudden Ivan said good morning and I jumped while snapping out of my trance Jess: Jesus Christ you scared me Ivan: sorry are you ok Jess: yeah I'm just stressed Ivan: oh come here I can relieve some of that stress and give you a back massage Jess: fine I laid down on my stomach next to him and he got up and sat down on my butt straddling me. He started using force and to be honest it felt really good. We were interrupted many my door opening and Tessa walking in Tessa: hey what's up Jess: nothing as I'm sure you can see Tessa: what were you gonna say when you knocked on my door earlier. Jess: I wanted to know if you wanted to go out. Tessa: of course are you ready Jess: yes Ivan hopped off of me and I kissed him goodbye. I walked out of the room and we walked to the elevator. We got in and started going to the first floor Tessa: where are we going I'm not going to tell her. Jess: I need a change Tessa: Okay We arrived at the first floor and I grabbed the Ferrari keys and went to the car. We drove to a hair salon blasting blackbear. We got out and went in. We sat down in the waiting room taking about random stuff waiting for the lady to call us back. We were laughing about a joke that Tessa made when the lady called us. We went back and sat in the chair. I told the lady that I wanted my very long dark brown hair turned to bleach blonde. Tessa just wanted her shoulder length brown hair to get some light brown highlights. We finished and the very nice ladies styled it. I looked at my hair in the mirror and my jaw dropped Jess: holy fuck Tessa: Jess it looks really good Jess Jess: yeah but not as good as yours does Tessa: yeah sure she said sarcastically It does look really good though
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I hope Ivan likes it. God this is so different. We paid the ladies and left the salon. We pulled into the driveway and my heart started racing. Like it did when I started racing again. I was terrified. We walked into the house and Jake ran towards the door to meet us. Jake: HOLY SHIT WHAT DID YOU DO Jess: I-uhm-uh I was cut off by Ivan running frantically running down the stairs Ivan: what happened what's wrong He obviously had not seen my hair yet. Jess: nothing. He ran over to me and hugged me Ivan: Jake you scared the shit out of me Jake: did you see her head yet Ivan quickly looked up at my hair and I looked down ashamed Ivan: it looks really good Jess I looked up at him and smiled. I pulled him into a tight hug and passionately kissed him Jake: PG KIDS. CHANCE GET DOWN HERE Chance soon Came rushing into the room. I got uncomfortable and hid in Ivan's chest. He whispered in my ear Ivan: Jess you need to fix things with him he is pretty much your best friend I nodded. Chance and I were pretty much best friends. We used to do a lot together and now we haven't talked for about two weeks. It hurts to be honest. I pulled out of Ivan's arms and walked towards the steps. I went up to my room and shit the door with a little bit of force. I slid down the wall. Tomorrow I have to go fix things with my mom. I don't want to but I have to. I can only imagine what she will have to say about my hair. I felt a hot tear escape from my eyes and drip down my face. I got my phone from where I threw it on the floor. I called my therapist Olivia. Olivia: Jess what's up Jess: I have had a really rough past year and I think I need to see you again. I said in between sobs Olivia: Jess sweetie what's wrong Jess: so I moved out to la to join this group called team ten Olivia: I have heard of them from my daughter Chloe Jess: so I am dating one of the members Ivan. He is perfect. He supports me with everything. I am best friends with everyone but the one guy Chance. We became very close and he was like my best friend here besides the girls. Well he snapped at me like two weeks ago cause he had a bad day then I screamed at him about me watching my dad die that day and he hates me now Olivia: sweetie what happened with your dad Jess: he killed five people and they called me into the jail and they killed him by lethal injection and to be honest I loved watching that bastard die. Olivia: Okay well how did your Mom react Jess: my mom doesn't even know they got divorced and my mom moved to la with Austin. I'm also not talking to my mom at the moment cause she came to yell at me because I tried to kill myself because Ivan was mad at me and didn't sleep in my room with me like he always does. And I kind of called her a whore and I have to go fix things with her tomorrow. So much more happened but I should probably get going to bed it's late Olivia: Okay good night Jess remember call me anytime Jess: bye I hung up and texted Ivan that I was going to sleep. I got into my lacy underwear set and cuddled into my warm duvet. Ivan opened three door and cuddled into the duvet with me. He pulled me into a warm hug and kissed me passionately. Ivan: i love you princess goodnight Jess: I love you handsome goodnight. I fell asleep with my head cuddled into his shirtless chest.
