I woke up to someone kissing my neck. I groggily rubbed my eyes and stretched rolling over to look at Ivan. Ivan: hi my beautiful princess Jess: hi my handsome prince Ivan: I love you Jess: I love you too babe Ivan: what do you want to do today Jess: I don't know yet. How about I just lay here and admire your sexiness all day Ivan: how about we go get breakfast. Like a date Jess: deal let me get dressed first. I slowly sat up and put my foot on the floor. I winced at the cold wood but then got up. I realized I was in my lacy underwear set like I am everynight. I walked into my closet and put this on
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I walked out of the closet and brushed my hair throwing it into a braid. I walked downstairs into the kitchen where Ivan was waiting. Jess: ready Ivan: yup let's go Jess: okay come on. I started walking towards the door and grabbed my Audi key Ivan: what we are taking this one. I kind of frowned to myself and then replied. Jess: yes I-i-I'm not in the mood for the other one. I looked over my shoulder frowning and then got into the car with Ivan in the passenger. Ivan: Jess relax. You seem so tense all the time lately He put his hand pretty high up on my thigh. We were now on the main road. It's about a thirty minute drive into la now from the new house. He rubbed my thigh with his thumb and I immediately relaxed. I didn't even know I was tense. We stayed silent for a few minutes till I broke it. Jess: I wanna start seeing a therapist again. I stayed with my eyes focused on the road while I could feel Ivan look at me. Ivan: Okay princess Jess: I just have been so stressed lately and I am scared to start boxing again. What if the new pills don't work Ivan: baby calm down they will and if they don't she has other choices Jess: god why am I so fucked up Ivan: you are not fucked up. You are perfect Jess: I am fucked up. Beyond what you know. I have had so much shit happen to me. I felt the tears well to my eyes threatening to spill. Then all of a sudden I felt one escape. We had arrived and I quickly wiped my face and got out of the car at our favorite diner. Ivan came over to me and pulled me into a hug. He whispered into my ear. Ivan: you are not fucked up jess. You have a history. Yes it may not be a very good history but it is what made you Jess. I love everything about you. I love your history even though it wasn't so good it is what made the beautiful girl that I get the honor to be able to call mine I love you Jess Jess: I love you too I smiled and kissed him. We walked inside and had an amazing breakfast. I drove home and we decided to chill in the living room. Justin and a few other people were sitting around the room or vlogging. I was sitting cross legged in front of Ivan holding his hands. Ivan: so can I see your tattoo on your ankle. My smile quickly faded Jess: uh-um-uhm I guess. I slowly and reluctantly pulled my sock down and my pants up a little. I tried not to look at it because I knew I would cry. Ivan looked at it and then up at me trying to avoid it. Ivan: can you tell me the history on this. I fixed my sock and my pants and jumped up running upstairs towards Tessa's room. I started balling my eyes out. I could hear people asking Ivan what happened and everything. As soon as I got into her room I pulled her into a hug. She jumped but hugged back rubbing my shoulders as I cried onto hers Tessa: Jess sweetie what happened Jess: I-I-I don't wanna talk about it. Tessa: that's okay. Did you and Ivan get into a fight Jess: no Tessa: Okay. Shhhh it will be okay I promise. We hugged for about a half an hour till I ran out of tears and hugged her tighter then let go Jess: thank you so much for being the best bestfriend a girl could ever ask for Tessa: same to you I said bye then walked out and downstairs. Ivan was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. He jumped up when he heard me walk in Ivan: Jess I'm sorry I should not have asked Jess: it's okay you deserve to know the full story. Come with me I grabbed his hand and led him up the steps into my room. I put on shorts and took my socks off so the tattoo was visible. I sat how I was before with my legs crossed in front of him on my bed holing his hands Jess: Okay so. Where do I start. Okay um when I was younger I was obsessed with speed and going fast. I still am but everything has changed. My bestfriend Alexis and I decided to get matching tattoos one day. We got live fast on our right ankle because that is your gas foot. Okay so... I was lightly crying at this point but ignored it. So one day Alexis wanted to go racing with one of our other friends. They were in thier own car. I was in my red Lamborghini. Alison had a bad feeling about it all day and said we should not go. But we ignored her and went anyways. There was a snowstorm a week before so the roads were really wet. We were racing our other friends car down this old road that nobody ever uses. We were going about 110 when our other friends car slipped on ice and hit us. I then lost control but tried to save it but it was too late and we slammed into a tree right on Alexis's door. She died immediately. I started crying really hard now and Ivan pulled me into a super tight hug. I managed to get more words out. Jess: I'm still amazing at driving but it just terrifies me now. Like the other day when I was scaring you a little bit while in my new car. I was ten billion times more scared than you were. Ivan: it's okay princess. I'm always here for you. I love you no matter what. Let's go to bed it's late. I nodded my head and got undressed. I laid down on Ivan's chest straddling his with my arms wrapped around his neck. We fell asleep like that.
