Jake Paul Imagines

Letter Part Two (Requested) **TRIGGER WARNING**

A/N: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS GRAPHIC SCENES, UPSETTING SCENES AND MENTION OF DEPRESSION & SELF HARM. PLEASE BE CAUTIOUS WHEN READING THIS.

After his message, I couldn't sleep. I rang him, but he kept declining my call. I couldn't get hold of him for the next 3 days. I tried everything. I'd even messaged Logan.

me: Hey Logan, know it's been a while, but I saw Jake a couple days ago. He messaged me afterwards and now I can't get hold of him? Is everything okay? Hope you're well. Y/N

Logan: Hey Y/N, Jake said he doesn't want to speak to you. Sorry. Logan

I felt heartbroken all over again, he'd given me that glimmer of hope and yet again he'd changed his mind. What I did was so very wrong, but what he did was also so very wrong.

**flashback 2 years ago; 3 weeks after y/n and Jake split**

I had never been so raging, Jake had released a video on me and had twisted the story. It was all over every social media platform and I hate a huge amount of hate on all of my platforms. What happened with me and Jake is sad. After 3 years together, we split up, because we weren't working. It ended pretty bad and I tore up my Team Ten contract. I left shortly after and he threw all my shit into the hallway. I had to stuff it all in the back of my car and drove home, the only safe place I knew. Home was hours away and it quickly became a ridiculous option. I ended up crashing at Rice Gum's house. 

Jake and I spoke a couple days after and he apologized profusely and we left it on good terms. A week later, the media is now in upheaval and my world was slowly crumbling around me. On an impulse, I drove to the Clout house and attempted to 'expose' Team Ten with Martinez Twins, Alissa and Max. It was horrific and I regretted it the day after we uploaded it. But, by this time it already had 300 million views and it was way too late to fix it.

Jake's manager called me and gave me several threats. I went to the Team Ten house and completely embarrassed myself, by screaming 'Fuck you Jake Paul. Fuck you.' for an entire hour, before he came out and asked security to take me off site.

I sent him hundreds upon hundreds of messages, emails, voicemails begging for forgiveness. I even made an apology YouTube video. I was and still am disgusted with the way I handled it. Jake hasn't forgiven me since.

**end of flashback**

I missed Jake more than anyone-not as just my boyfriend, but my best friend and the one person who I trusted most. He was the person who gave me fame- Team Ten is what got me to where I am today.

After nearly a month of trying to get hold of him, I gave up. I slipped into a dark hole. I barley ate, I sat in silence and darkness most days. I was so, so angry at myself for screwing the best thing in my life up. 

Jake:

I had been ignoring Y/N for about a month now, I woke up on Monday Jan 29th 2018 and had no messages from her. Her social media was inactive and she had completely dropped off the grid. I assumed she had just given up trying to get hold of me.

But, nearly 2 weeks passed and there was still nothing. My anger towards Y/N was huge, but she's the only girl I've ever loved. I still love her a lot and I was so worried about her. I reached out to her that night.

Y/N:

My phone beeped and I didn't even have the energy to look at who it was let alone respond. I looked at my hands and felt myself falling asleep.

Jake:

She didn't reply, so I reached out to her parents. They said they couldn't get hold of her either, neither could her bestfriend, so I got Team Ten to try. No response. I decided to go and check on her, because she was scaring everyone. I had a spare key to her flat from when she first moved, I found it and got into my car with Nick. We drove to her apartment block and someone buzzed us in. We went up to her floor and got out the lift. I tapped my knuckles a few times for about 10 minutes, I looked to Nick. "Something's wrong." He said. I gulped, shakily putting the key in the door. It flew open and I shouted her name. No response. I raced round the flat, the bathroom door was closed, I pushed it open and she was on the tiled floor. Holding a pill bottle.

She looked tired, her skin was ghost white and her hair un brushed and messy. She was wearing a baggy T-Shirt and shorts. She was shaking and screaming. "You're okay, I'm here." I said stretching out to hold her hand. That's when I saw the deep cuts on her arms, she looked at me and bit her lip as tears started to flood her cheeks. I sat down and gently put her on my lap. She held onto my hoodie as she cried. "I'm sorry." She repeatedly shouted, sobbing still. "I forgive you, please don't cry."

A/N: To anyone feeling depressed, suicidal or alone. You aren't. My inbox is open if any of you need someone to talk to. I love you all x