Desires

•CHAPTER XXII•

My body shakes because of how cold I realise I was and how hot the water is as it contacts my skin.

Over the pattering of the shower I hear the front door shut, the latch making a clicking sound that vibrates throughout the wooden work of the house.

She must be wondering where Mrs Elm is. And why she hasn't left any note or anything indicating that she is gone. I didn't even think about what we were going to do then. Would it be convincing to tell my mother that Mrs Elm packed up to go on a sunny Spain holiday? Or that she was attacked by bears? Or that my classmate killed her and I helped cover up the murder?

I run my hands in the shower gel to create a lather. I hadn't noticed the dried blood that was smudged on my arm. I scrub furiously to get it off and then watch as the redness runs down with the water, sinking into the plug hole. Where was this blood going to go? To the Stellar River? What if someone realised that Mrs Elm is missing and they go on a hunt for her? They find that her DNA is all over this house and all over the Stellar River. They follow it into the forest where they find her scorched body wrapped in a burnt carpet that carries a single guilty strand of my hair. And that's how my downfall will be the end of me. What would I say when they interrogate me? That it wasn't me and it was Romeo Montgomery? A boy that I still question why he even talks to me. I see it on the Morgenstel Post: 'AZRA DEGREY MURDERS HOUSEKEEPER ANNE ELM'

Apart from the fact that she isn't Anne Elm. She's not even Mrs Elm. Or Miss Elm. She's a Vedovela. "They kill whoever they surround themselves with." His voice echos in my mind, louder than the water hitting my body, louder than the footsteps of my mother coming up the stairs, louder than my inner thoughts that ring in my mind.

I realise I've been rubbing my arm vigorously as it is raw with red like my thought spiral.

After washing my hair, I step out the bathroom dressed in a blue and white striped night shirt. My body is pink with heat as I've stayed in the shower for far too long. I dry my wet hair with my towel wondering if my mother has noticed anything yet.  Has she noticed that the rug has disappeared? Did I put all the cleaning supplies in the exact place? Did I turn the washing machine off? Am I sure that we removed Mrs Elm's body? Am I sure that this is real?

I pinch myself hard, making sure this ain't a dream. Something I have good practice at.

I hear her shrills of screaming. She shouting something so high pitched with such force that I can't make out what she's saying. But my father does. His voice is calm but stern. I can't hear what he is saying too. It's all just a low vibration.
My knees are tucked against my chest as I lean against the bannister on the stairs. It's dark apart from the line of light shining from under my father study. I can see shadows moving. It's probably my mother pacing frantically.
"Keep your voice down, she's going to wake up." My father says and my mother starts to whisper shout.
"I can't keep doing this! We need to do something!" Her voice says in a stressful manner.
"Delilah, we can't do anything yet."
"I saw her today!"
"When?"
"This morning, before Joanna." She says in a strained voice.
Joanna must have been my babysitter at the time.
"Please Harley." She says. My father doesn't say anything then.
"No. We can't. Not yet."
"We have to! I can't stand to be here anymore! Do you see the way she looks at me? How many babysitters do we have to go through? She's dangerous Harley, you know that." Her voice gets louder each time.
I hear glass shatter on the floor.
I pinch my elbow, closing my eyes tightly shut in hopes that when I open them again it will be morning and I'll be in bed.

But I open them again, and I'm still here. The hushed shouting still goes on after the silence of the glass on the floor. I'm still on the cold stairs with my knees to my chest, in my thin pyjamas. The father clock in the hall ticks past midnight, and my seven year old self thinks what she could have done that was so awful.

I know that this is all real. The knock on my door jumps me out of my daydream.

"Azra? Are you asleep?" My mother says. I open the door and shake my head.
"I just got out the shower." I say, my voice wavering. I have to stay calm. The look on her face tells me that she hasn't noticed anything yet.
"What's that smell downstairs? Smells nice." She says.
"Oh it smells like incense. It was there before I came back. Couldn't figure out where it came from though." I say. If she finds out that I put the incense on in the study I would much rather be the burnt body of Mrs Elm.
"Must have been Mrs Elm. Has she already left?" She asks.
I unconsciously nod. "I didn't see her." I say quickly. "Must have gone before I came back."
"Where were you? I got the email from school."
"I went for a walk."
"Where to?"
"The woods."
"Alone?"
Should I lie? Or should I say I was with Charlie? I think about Charlie's deep purple eyes and the bright scary whites of her eyes.
"I was with the twins and some others." I lie.
She nods.
"Get some sleep, you could do with an early night." She says and I know she's talking about the bags under my eyes.

I croak our a "Yeah" and then she leaves, clicking down the hall until I hear a silence where she's in her room and has taken off her kitten heels.

I close my door softly and sigh in relief with my back against the door. My heart is beating fast out of nerves but I smile to myself, proud of my own lies.

After drying my hair I sit on my bed and text the twins. Levi had made a group chat for us.

C: what's on for tomorrow?
You: what is there to do?
L: we should add Charly to this
C: pretty sure it's CharLIE
L: whatever

I wonder what Charlie would say to me. Does she acknowledge what happened? Does she realise what happened to her?
I'm hesitant to text her. But I do.

You: Hey Charlie.
You: Sorry about what I said today. I didn't mean to offend you. I hope you're okay. We should meet tomorrow with the twins if you can forgive me. Sorry again. X

I close my phone and set it down on my bedside table. Falling into a restless dream.

I see those green eyes stare back at me. But we're in the forest now. I blink and I see Romeo's face. He's smiling and I think I am too. I don't know what we are happy about but we are just, happy.
The wind blows and something catches his attention. He's looking at something behind me. I turn around to see Mrs Elm. Apart from it's not Mrs Elm. It's a twisted tall old lady with spindly arms and nails long and sharp. She had red in her eyes and her cheekbones stick out making her cheeks look hollow and torn. A Vedovela.
I step back in fear and look at Romeo. Who's mouth is covered in blood like he had just bitten out of something. He's tall and looks ahead of me like he's in a daze. Mrs Elm is no longer there, just her bloody body back to the sweet old lady she was, laying limp on the floor.

He looks down at me slowly and reaches out for me, I hesitantly do the same, still staring into his eyes, ignoring the blood at his lips, but as our fingertips touch, I wake up.

▲▽▲▽▲▽▲
authors note:

SORRY FOR THE NOT UPDATING YESTERDAY!!
i was so busy, i had a concert until 11pm and had to rehearse all day. i'll upload another chapter tonight!

thank you for bearing with me

please leave a vote/comment if you liked it.

-kiim