Desires

•CHAPTER LVII•

Jack takes the file from Charlie's dad and hands it over to me. I stare down at it and take it from him giving him a look.
He smiles towards me in a welcoming way that makes me feel like he supports me.

I take the file and they make room for me on the giant mahogany table laid with candles and bowls of herbs and all sorts.

I fumble through and my eyes catch the first page.

It's a profile, with my name in giant capitals at the top.

AZRA DEGREY

It's the usual. My birthday, where I was born, my gender, everything I would find on a passport. Even my passport ID photo is in the top right corner.
What is strange is when I start to go down the list my height and weight is types in numbers. I didn't even know my exact height. How would they know?
My eye colour, my hair colour, where I have lived. The addresses of all my houses, even the one in Oakton. My old school address, my old nursery address. Even any past teachers and the subjects I take.

Then my parents. Information about them and their occupations. Where they came from and where they are now.

I read that my father is in Germany.

I didn't even know that.

"This is oddly specific." I mumble as I turn to the other page where my eyes widen.

The list of teachers and nanny's I have ever had.

"KENDALL MAY MEISTER
JAN REPTON
MARK THOMAS KIERNAN
AMBER SORESTEN
CLAIRE BRADLEY
JOANNE LEE-SUN
JANINE HOLLY WRIGHT
APRIL LÄGERHMSHEN
LOUISE MASTERS
JUAN MARTINEZ
YUNA KAWASAKI
MARY ALLISTAIR
HELEN MARGRET NICHOLLS
WENDY EVE WILLIAMS
MING XI
HARRISON DAVIS
JOHN SOLOMINA
KRISTY ANNA GOLIGHTLY "

I turn over the page and it goes on and on.
I remember one or two here and there.

"Why are most of them in bold?" I ask and look up at Jack and Charlie's dad who I feel could answer my question.

Jack's adam's apple bobs up and down as he glances over at Gabby and Charlie's mother who look back.
"Well?" I ask impatiently getting more irritated by the secret glances I know everyone is doing. Like they're talking about me in some secrete morse code eye contact or some spell for mind reading.

Gabby unfolds her arms and shakes her head.
"No, no no no." She says quickly and makes her way over to me reaching for the file. "She's just a child."
But I swipe the folder away before she can get at it.
"No." I say sternly and look at her. I almost feel bad for raising my voice slightly. She is trying to protect me from something, they all are. But I want to know. "This is the least you could tell me. How long are you all going to drag this on for?" I ask and look at them all, even Romeo.
"I know about vampires," I glance at him, "I know about werewolves," I meet eyes with Lexi and the Maccon's. "For god sake, I'm in a witches house!" I look over at Charlie who gives me a supportive smile and her mother who looks stoic as always. But I do see a pull on her voluminous lips. "And what about you? Are you a ghost? Some alien?" I say, getting carried away whilst turning to Jack who shakes his head. "Just human over here." He says and glances at Charlie's dad.
"So just tell me! I'm not five years old, I'm not naive, and mostly I'm not a stupid little girl My own housekeeper tried to murder me, I've seen a witched up werewolf bite off a human head, I bleed from my eyes, what more could you tell me that is so bad?" I finally finish and I feel the goosebumps ride my arms.

They all seem stunned.

Jack opens the file again. The same list appears.
"The names in bold..." he says taking a torch from his pocket, shining them down onto the space next to them.

I see fluorescent writing underneath the torch.

"
"KENDALL MAY MEISTER      DECEASED
JAN REPTON
MARK THOMAS KIERNAN
AMBER SORESTEN                    DECEASED
CLAIRE BRADLEY                      DECEASED
JOANNE LEE-SUN                      DECEASED
JANINE HOLLY WRIGHT
APRIL LÄGERHMSHEN           DECEASED
LOUISE MASTERS                      DECEASED
JUAN MARTINEZ                        DECEASED
YUNA KAWASAKI                       DECEASED
MARY ALLISTAIR
HELEN MAG NICHOLLS          DECEASED
WENDY EVE WILLIAMS.        DECEASED
MING XI                                         DECEASED
HARRISON DAVIS                     DECEASED
JOHN SOLOMINA                      DECEASED
KRISTY ANNA GOLIGHTLY  DECEASED "

"Why are they all dead?" I ask and look up at him.
"It's because..." he hesitates.
"Because you killed them, Azra." Romeo says and places his hand on mine with an apologetic look on his dainted face.

I killed them.

"No I didn't." I say in denial. "I would know if I did."

He shakes his head.
"Do you remember when I killed that Vedovela. Your supposed housekeeper?" Romeo says.
I nod.
"And your reaction, to say the least, was-"
"Pretty morbid." Lexi finishes.
"It's because it wasn't the first time you had seen it. A dead body, that is." He continues.

I stare down at the bold names. My finger runs over the same written word over most of them.

DECEASED.

"No." I say and shake my head. "They all left. They never died. At least not when they were taking care of me. How would I have done it anyways? I wasn't older than seven at least. See, I had her when I was younger than five." I say pointing to the bold letters of: MING XI

"You didn't do it on purpose." Gabby says and puts an arm around me. "Okay? That's something you need to know. You never had the awful intentions of doing so, honey." She says. "You wouldn't ever, you're a good person." She takes my face in her hands and plants a kiss on my forehead, I almost feel like her daughter.

"Remember when you pushed Romeo into the wall?" Charlie speaks up.
I hesitantly nod feeling guilt for what I did but Romeo's cool palm sits surely on mine.
"I didn't mean to, really I had no idea." I say in all honesty.
"Exactly." She says.
"Then how come I don't remember any of this?" I say pointing to the list of names.

"It's because your memories were wiped." Charlie's mother says.

My memories were stolen.

♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎
authors note:

thank you for reading!
i loved this chapter because azra could finally speak up.

please vote/comment!
have a lovely weekend.

-kiim