Desires

•CHAPTER XXIII•

My chest feels heavy as I try to take deep breaths. I feel suffocated and hot in my bed, thinking about the cold touch of Romeo's fingertips in my dream was really just a dream.

I slid out of my bed and walk over to the window where I push away the curtains. The night sky is still and dark, engulfing Morgenstel in its concave of the unknown oblivion. The circle moon shines through me, it lights up my eyes and I get distracted. I open the window slightly and feel the cool breeze hit my hot cheeks. I take deep breaths and soon I'm calm.

Looking at the dark rumble of trees I imagine Mrs Elm's body on the ground. Am I sure she's gone? Shouldn't I be glad? Since she was going to kill me. Why was she going to kill me?

All these thoughts pound my head, like sharp darts on a dartboard.

I whisper of wind blows past me, making my hair swivel and my curtains tousle. I hear a shuffle behind me and I turn around sharply. I can't see anything in the dark. Only a stripe of light shines through from the moon. It's just enough for me to make out dark shapes of my desk and my bed. My clothes, that hang behind my door and my ornaments. Nothing else.

I'm just being paranoid.

I shut the window, leaving the curtains open, and slide back into my bed until a figure that I thought was my coat hanging from my door, shifted and slowly came closer to me. I squint my eyes to try and make out if I'm just being stupid or if there really is something there. They're definitely here. They're coming closer and closer.

I push myself back against the headboard of my bed, I strike my arm out and grab the nearest object near me, which was a baseball bat. I keep one near bed for times like this.
I raise it and am about to hit my intruder until I see their familiar face in front of me.
"Woah woah!" They say and put their hands up I'm surrender. "Calm down! I'm sorry!" They whisper and I dip my head to see that it was Romeo.
"What the hell?" I shout back but then tone my voice down into an aggressive whisper as I didn't want my mother to wake up.
I keep my grip tight on the baseball bat and point it at him.
"What are you doing here? You know this is breaking and entering? Don't you think you've committed enough crimes?" I whisper out of embarrassment. My bare legs are exposed and I'd much rather have my hair not look like a total frizzball.
"Well I didn't break anything." He said like he's innocent.
"How did you even get in?"
"I climbed through your window."
"How?" I ask in disbelief. I was sure that there was no possible way he could climb up a horizontal wall.
"Azra, you seem to underestimate my abilities."
I sigh and realise that there's no point to argue with him. I put the bat back against my bedside table.

"Why do you even have that?" He asks pointing to the bat like I'm crazy.
I look at him with raised eyebrows.
"For situations like this! For when creepy guys climb into my bedroom in the middle of the night!" I can't say that I'm exactly angry at him. Of course I would like him to stay.
"What creepy guys?" He asks, taking what I'm saying literally.
I raise my eyebrows again and look him up and down, pointing at him.
"What? I'm not creepy." He says in his defence.
I scoff and almost laugh.
"No offence Romeo." I lower my voice "But you murdered Mrs Elm-"
"She's not Mrs Elm" he rolls his eyes.
"Well whatever she is!"
"A Vedovela."
"Exactly! You also just appear out of nowhere! Like now, who goes into other peoples houses at midnight?" I argue back.
There's a pause like he's trying to think of what to say.
"Okay. Fair enough. I'm sorry, Azra. I didn't mean to make you feel this way." He says slowly and I almost feel guilty, like he's a puppy that needed scolding. No one wants to scold a puppy.

"It's fine. You just scared me is all." I say, softening my voice and sit on my bed with the duvet over my crossed legs.
"So what are you doing here?" I ask and gesture for him to take a seat on my bed.

He sits near me. I can hear his slow and steady breathing. It sounds so perfect. Not even a single hiccup or waver. He becomes so still like he's ahead of time.
"I was just checking up on you." He says and the moonlight shines onto his green eyes that glow like they're always meant for the night.
"How did it go with your mum?" He asks.
I shrug. "She doesn't suspect anything at all. Not yet anyways." I mumble.
"She won't." He says and I nod but I don't completely agree with him.

Something that had been bothering me just came up. "How did you know she was coming?" I whisper into the dark.
He becomes more still than ever. Then I can hear a smirk appear on his lips.
"That's a conversation I hope we will have." He said and then bites his lip. I think he almost feels embarrassed by what he has just said. But I don't understand.
"I have never said that to anyone. You don't understand what I've just said but, just know that it's not often." He said quickly. I feel dumber than I already do but I laugh because I know that he feels bashful.
He laughs too and lays back on his side with his hand supporting his head, looking up at me.

Why do I feel like there's some big secret that I'm oblivious to.
"Why were you awake? Couldn't sleep?" I ask. He's still dressed in what he left in.
He scoffs and runs his hand through his hair like I said something ridiculous.
"What's so funny?" I ask and frown a little.
He shakes his head. "Nothing, you're just so..." he begins but can't seem to find the word.
He plays with a loose strand of hair on my shoulders.
"Oblivious?" I suggest and he nods.
"Yeah"
"It's how I feel all the time. Like there's some big thing I'm missing out on even though I'm not blind." I say and I must sound annoyed because he shifts.
"No, no. Azra please don't feel that way. I promise you, everything will become clear okay?" He says and takes my hand.
His cold hand tingles under mine. I can't help but smile, it's because it's dark and he can't see how much satisfaction he brings me.
"Okay" I mumble and he seems content.
"Why are your hands always cold?" I ask and fiddle with his hands. Intertwining then with mine.

At this moment the world seemed to stop. I don't know what time it is. But it feels like time has stood still. I feel like the breeze has stopped and the forests wait, not wanting to disturb the touch between us.

He doesn't say anything but smiles as I cup his hands in mind. I clasp them to my chest in attempts to keep them warm.
He sighs and closes his eyes.
"Your so warm." He says and I chuckle, I feel the heat rising to my cheeks.
"It's because apparently only one of us has warm blood running through their veins." I say sarcastically as I slide down and lay on my back with his hands in mine.

I face him and I can see the frames of his eyelashes that hover over his glowing green eyes. I can't stop staring into them and he doesn't look away. These eyes are the same eyes I've been seeing in my dreams ever since I stepped foot in Morgenstel.

They look so familiar to me and I feel like I'm at home with them. I feel like I'm at home with him.

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authors note:
i'm really sorry that i didn't update twice yesterday. i realise that i set myself too much than i can take. i've just been super busy, thank you for being patient with me.

also i literally can't believe i have 2k reads. how are some of you still reading ??!! thank you so much for sticking around.

please vote/comment if you enjoyed it!

-kiim