In the Woods When First We Met

117. White Dresses

In the morning Marilla found Anne on the sofa in the parlor, asleep, clutching one of her needlepoint pillows.

A sleeve of soda crackers were on the floor next to the sofa. Marilla frowned, checking to see if any ants had been attracted to the crackers.

"Anne!" Marilla said, shaking her awake.

"Huh- what?" Anne slowly woke up.

Marilla frowned at her, "Anne, what are you doing sleeping down here?"

She pulled her needlepoint pillow from Anne's side and brushed it off.

As Anne sat up, Marilla was examining the pillow. "These aren't meant to be slept on; they're decorative."

Anne rubbed her eyes. "Oh- that. Um, sorry. It just looked so pretty, that I guess I wanted to sleep with it..."

Marilla gave her a strange look, but then moved on: "You'll barely have time to eat, so hurry upstairs and get ready for school. Why did you come down here and sleep on the parlor?"

Anne ran up the stairs without answering her.

"What's gotten into you?" Marilla said as Anne came down the stairs after washing and dressing. "You've barely been able to wake up, lately. Have you been staying up late reading when you ought to be asleep?"

"No," Anne said. "Well, I shouldn't say no... You saw what I did to Tales of Christian Endurance. But," she rushed on, "that was the only time I did that, I promise."

"Why have I had to pull you out of bed nearly every morning, then?"

Anne gave a troubled sigh, not knowing how to answer.

Marilla's eyes changed from exasperated to concerned. "What is it, Anne?"

Anne bit her lip. "I haven't been able to go to sleep quickly, is all."

Marilla asked, "Has something been troubling you?"

Anne shook her head slowly. Then she said, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," Marilla said, stopping and looking intently at her.

"It's about wedding gowns," Anne began.

Marilla sighed and- almost rolling her eyes- turned back to the stove.

"Sit down here and eat quickly so you can get to school. What is it about wedding gowns that's interested you so much?"

Anne sat down with her bowl of porridge. She picked up her spoon, but instead of eating, she just played with the spoon. "Marilla, if there was a man you liked, but he married someone else, and then his wife died, and you married him now, would you still wear a white dress?"

Marilla looked startled.

"What are you on about?" Marilla said, not liking this line of questioning.

"Wait, no," Anne realized. "That's backwards. When it comes to what you would wear for the wedding, it wouldn't matter if he'd been married before, it would only matter if you'd been married before. That doesn't seem fair, does it? That it doesn't go both ways, does it?"

Marilla slowly put the used dishes in the sink.

When she didn't answer, Anne questioned, again, "So if you, Marilla, had already been married...or, you'd had a child-"

"I hope you mean 'been married and had a child', not 'been married or had a child'," Marilla said with raised eyebrows.

"Well..." Anne trailed off, not answering that. "Would you? Still wear white, I mean?

"At my age I'd feel foolish walking down the aisle in a wedding gown. A simple ceremony in my good dress would suffice." Marilla said

"But what if you were younger?" Anne insisted. "Then would you wear white?"

"Anne, what foolish ideas have you gotten into your head?" Marilla asked, tired of this strange conversation.

"I just wanted to know about wedding dresses...", Anne said. "Whether the rules were very stringent on wearing white..."

"Well, most people would say you ought not wear white if it's a second wedding. But truthfully the dress isn't the thing," Marilla said, "If you must know. The veil is."

"It is?"

"Yes, the veil is a symbol of virginity," Marilla stopped, looking uncomfortable, and said, "I ought to have said purity. Don't repeat the word virginity, Anne. It isn't a word you ought to be saying."

"The Bible uses that word. The virgin Mary," Anne pointed out.

"Yes, well...if it's Christmas and you're in church and you say it with the utmost dignity, then that's one thing, but it's not a word you should be using in any other context. It isn't proper."

"I won't," Anne said softly.

"Eat your porridge, you don't want to be late for school."