In the Woods When First We Met

183. Goodbye

"I should go," Gilbert finally said. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Not tomorrow," Anne said. "It's Monday. I'm going to Emily's in the afternoon and I won't be back till dinner time."

"Oh...right," he said, trying not to show how disappointed he was.

They stood a moment, not saying anything.

Gilbert finally turned to leave. When his hand was on the doorknob, Marilla said, "Uh, Gilbert...I owe you an apology."

He shook his head. "That's all right."

Marilla shook her head. "No, it's not. You were here for Anne once again, but I judged you harshly and didn't give you a chance to explain. ...I'm grateful to you, Gilbert." Then she glanced at them, seeing their eyes were still connected to each other's, and said, "Anne, do you want to walk out with him?"

Anne practically bounced from her side. She walked with Gilbert to his buggy, with Marilla watching them from the window.

"I'm glad they're back, and I'm glad you told them everything," Gilbert said as they came to his buggy. "I hope you can feel safer now...maybe they can start keeping the doors locked. Um, Anne, listen...about before. Saying I love you. I know you said it back, but..."

"I meant it," she confirmed.

"I'm glad," he said, his smile looking like a sunrise.

But then he said quickly: "It doesn't mean anything has to change, you know. I don't want you to think I'm angling for more- I'm happy enough just to be your friend."

Anne bit her lip. "Well," she said- realistically- "It isn't as if we could court, anyway. We won't old enough for a few years yet."

"Yeah..." Gilbert said.

They just stood there.

Then Anne said, "There's a step before courting."

"Oh, is there?" Gilbert didn't know anything about courting.

"Yes...boys just come calling. ...Which I guess you're already doing, sort of. Although, when boys come calling, the girl's mother is supposed to stay there with them. And there's intent...but if you said you had the intent to court me, Marilla probably wouldn't let you come calling anymore, anyway! She'd say we're too young to even just do that..."

Then she sighed, shaking her head. "I don't know why we're even considering anything coming of this, Gilbert...it's impossible."

"Why?"

She stared at him with dead eyes. "You're already being accused of terrible things just for being seen with me."

"But I don't care about any of that," Gilbert said, his eyes glued to hers.

"You should! I can't let myself ruin your reputation! I already have, really. And if I end up with a baby, ugh, Gilbert, you can't-"

"Well, for your sake I hope you don't have one, but to me it doesn't make any difference," Gilbert said desperately, starting to reach for her hand but then stopping, knowing they were likely being watched.

Her eyes grew watery, feeling his love for her. But she shook her head, firming her resolve. "I like- I love you, Gilbert. I don't want to do anything that's going to make your life harder!"

He looked so despondent that she couldn't bear to look at him anymore, and looked away, saying, "Besides, your father-"

"My father adores you," he interrupted quickly. And so do I, he thought.

"He's so kind, but, he's in bad health. Imagine having to tell him I'm having a baby and then following it up with saying you intend for us to court!"

Gilbert hid a smile. "Well, I have news for you. I already told him you might have a baby-"

"Gilbert, you didn't," she said, furious. "How could you?! I didn't want him to know! Why would you do that to me?!"

"Calm down. He understood. And he's fine with it."

Anne shook her head at him, angry. "I can't believe you told him! And why on earth would he be fine with it?! That's...ridiculous!"

"He is fine with it. And he told me you were perfect and I'd be a fool to let you get away." He smiled.

Anne's mouth was set in a firm line.

Gilbert said, "All right, if you're going to be mad at me, fine, go ahead and be mad, you can't ruin my mood. You already told me you love me, I'm on cloud nine now. I might never come down."

Anne shook her head, annoyed that her being angry at him was doing nothing. "You shouldn't have done that. But I'm not going to be mad at you, not today. ...I'll be mad some other day."

"Well, let me know which day so I can put it on my calendar," Gilbert said. "I'll mark it with an X. Today will be marked with a heart."

Anne rolled her eyes at him. "You're exasperating."

Gilbert said, "Being in love makes men act like fools."

"Oh, stop. Go home. I don't want to look at you anymore."

Marilla thought they looked as if they were fighting, but they couldn't have been too angry, because a moment later Anne reached out and hugged him.

When Anne came in, she went straight to the kitchen to start wringing out the wet bedsheets.

"Anne," Marilla said, seeing her. "Why is it that you decided to climb into my bed with blood on your hands?"

"I'm sorry, Marilla. I wasn't in my right mind, truly. It just...seemed to make sense at the time."

Marilla shook her head. She walked back to the front door, intending to lock it.

But she stood at the door a moment. Then she opened the door and walked briskly- finally quickening her pace to a bit of a run- to catch up to Gilbert. "Gilbert! Gilbert?" she called.

Hearing her, he slowed the horses, bringing them to a stop.

"Miss Cuthbert?" he asked, turning toward her.

"Gilbert- there's one thing I didn't get a real answer to. Why was Anne in my bed?"

Gilbert said, "Because she loves you." He saw her eyes soften, but he also realized it wasn't much of an answer, so he tried to explain: "Um...she just kept saying she wanted so badly for you to come home..."

Marilla felt herself becoming emotional at that, but it was nothing compared to what Gilbert said next:

"She said it was the only place she felt safe."