In the Woods When First We Met

185. Not Alone

Anne sleeping in Marilla's bed that night was hardly a question.

"I'll drive over to the Perkins tomorrow and let Emily know you won't be coming," Marilla said as she pulled back the covers.

"I should go," Anne said, putting her pillow next to Marilla's. "Don't you think? I shouldn't cancel on her, especially with so little notice...she'll think I'm not reliable."

"She'll think nothing of the sort. She knows you wouldn't cancel on her without good reason."

"But I want to go...I think."

"I don't know, Anne. You don't want to stay home with us? I thought you might feel safer if we all three just stay in together tomorrow."

Anne hesitated. Then she snuggled down into the bed. "I don't really want to go anywhere at all. I just thought I should. But...I don't want to stay here, either."

"Well...there's no need to think about it tonight. Sleep on it and you can decide in the morning."

A few minutes after the lamp was out, Marilla said, "I hope you'll be all right. My room will hold some bad memories now, I suppose. If you change your mind and want to go up to your own bed, take my lamp with you so you won't stumble in the dark."

"I want to stay with you," Anne said, moving over so she'd be close enough to see Marilla's face if she should need to.

Marilla said, "I asked Gilbert why on earth you decided to get into my bed knowing your hands were covered with blood. ...He told me you felt safe there."

It was a moment before Anne said anything- and then came a whisper: "It was the only place."

Then she said, "But I am sorry."

Marilla said, "You needn't be sorry. Stains on the sheets are a small price to pay for your sense of safety."

Anne snuggled next to Marilla. "Marilla...your room is scary now."

Marilla's heart dropped to her stomach.

"But not your bed. And not when you're here."

That made Marilla feel better.

"But...the whole house feels scary now. ...It isn't safe. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to go to school or to church or into town...but I don't want to be here, either."

Marilla did not have answers. Finally she said, to be practical- "This won't last forever. Soon things will go back to normal and you won't have such fears-"

"Please don't leave me," Anne interrupted passionately. "Not ever. Can't you just stay with me all the time?"

"Anne..." What could she say? She couldn't promise Anne she'd never leave the house. We need a plan, she thought. To Anne, she said only, "I'm right here. Go to sleep, now- I won't leave you."