In the Woods When First We Met

120. Rachel Lynde

"Has Anne seemed to be acting strangely to you lately?" Marilla asked Rachel Lynde as they baked together at Rachel's house the next afternoon.

Rachel turned to her with an amused expression.

"Now don't give me any of that," Marilla said, "You know what I mean. Out of the ordinary."

"For her, or for anyone?" Rachel couldn't help getting in. "No, I haven't noticed anything when I've been at your house. What have you been noticing?"

Marilla kneeding the dough. "I'm not sure. I can't quite put my finger on it, but something is definitely troubling her. For the past couple of weeks at least...I don't know if it's been longer than that; Anne has a tendency to ramble on whether she's nervous or not. But there's more to it, I think. She hasn't been sleeping well, and she hardly touches her food."

Rachel paused to consider this. "She's at a hard age," she thought aloud. "It could be any number of things. Do you think she's done something wrong, and is afraid to admit it for fear you'll put her out?"

"Oh, no, I think she knows we're keeping her for good. I don't think that would come to her mind after all this time. Anyway, what could she have done wrong?"

"Well, perhaps she took money from your purse...something like that." Rachel said. "She didn't used to have any real moral teaching, did she? Perhaps she did something in the past, and now that she's been taught right from wrong, she's feeling burdened over wrong she did before. And she's afraid to admit it."

Marilla considered this. "I don't know. It's possible, I suppose. I don't know what to think."

Rachel thought, "School term reports are coming out soon, aren't they?"

Marilla nodded. "Yes, she should be getting her grades for the fall sometime this week or next."

"There it is! I bet she's worried she's done poorly in school."

"But Anne always does so well," Marilla said. "She started out at a disadvantage, you know. The others were working with exponents, and Anne hadn't even learned how to divide numbers yet. She's made such progress, and so quickly. She's a smart girl."

"Didn't you say that Anne had been spending a lot of time wrapped up in her school work lately?" Rachel remembered.

"It seems that's all she wants to think about!" Marilla declared.

"That's it, then," Rachel decided. "She's overwhelmed by it. Or maybe she's gotten stuck where she is and she doesn't want to admit she's struggling because you and Matthew have told her how proud you are of her progress."

"But we wouldn't be angry with her over something like that," Marilla protested.

"She may not be worried about you being angry, maybe it's the disappointment she fears. ...Sometimes children hide things- not because they're afraid to tell you, but because they don't want you to be sad- they don't want to disappoint you. They think they're protecting you, but they're really just making things worse for themselves."

Marilla nodded. Maybe that was it. Maybe Anne was putting too much pressure on herself to excel in school and was afraid to disappoint her new family.

She'd try to talk to Anne later that evening.