In the Woods When First We Met

63. Baby

Sorry this chapter and the previous ones were heavier but they kind of had to be, for her to tell Gilbert what happened.

Like I said before, when this happened and I never told anyone, I worried for weeks about pregnancy. Didn't happen and it won't for Anne either, but she's worrying because I worried too.

Chapter 63:

After a few minutes, her tears turned to hiccups, and finally quieted down, and then she pulled away from him, sitting up straight. She was glad he'd been there, but she was embarrassed at the way she'd lost control.

Gilbert took a deep breath when she pulled away. He wiped his eyes quickly. But she didn't see it, because she wasn't looking at him. She was staring straight ahead, thinking, preparing herself to tell him something else. She'd been working up to it; she felt now that she could tell him anything.

"Marilla had a doctor over. About my arm. And...while he was there, he and Marilla were talking about somebody having a baby...Emily-somebody."

"Emily Perkins? She had a baby a day or two ago. I know them. Well, I know her husband, sort of. His dad is friends with my dad." Gilbert said.

"She's grown up, and married." Anne commented.

"Yeah..." Gilbert replied, a little confused about the sudden conversation change to people Anne didn't even know.

Anne was almost afraid to say the words out loud. She bit her lip. "You don't have to be married to have a baby..."

Gilbert began, "I thought you had to be married first-"

"No, you don't," Anne said, looking at him incredulously. "The only reason we think that is because people don't do this until they're married! This is what makes babies. And you're not supposed to do this, until you're married!"

"I know that now. You didn't let me finish, I was saying I thought you had to be married when I was younger...I didn't know how it worked yet. I didn't know about...that. I mean, I knew about it, like, I'd seen- I'd seen animals do that on the farm- but I guess I didn't connect the dots yet to understand that people do that, too, and so I remember just thinking that a man and a woman get married and then sometime after they're married then a baby just...appears. ...Wow, that feels like a long time ago now."

Anne took a breath before continuing, "Well, you don't have to be married, but you're supposed to be. One of the families I stayed with...there was a girl in the village who had a baby when she hadn't been married and..."

Anne trailed off, looking upset.

"What about her?" Gilbert asked, concerned.

Anne took a shaky breath and answered, "She was treated so horribly. Ostracized. She was a social pariah."

"Anne, where is this coming from?" Gilbert asked, concerned.

"What if...what if I could have a baby?" She said, as if she couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her own mouth. "How would I face Marilla and Matthew? I'd make them outcasts in this town...Everyone would talk about it..."

Then something even worse hit her: "I'm sure they'd send me back; how could they keep me if I caused them such shame among everyone they know?"

"Mr. Cuthbert wouldn't send you away," Gilbert said, shaking his head.

"Oh, I don't think Matthew would want to send me back. Marilla would, I'm sure of it. But Matthew- dear Matthew- the thing of it is, everyone would turn against them. They'd never be accepted in polite society again. How could I cause them such grief? I'd have to go back to the orphanage..."