In the Woods When First We Met

143. Buggy

Anne climbed into the buggy with Matthew.

Anne realized Matthew had never asked why she was home so early and why had been in her nightgown.

"I'm glad you're home early," was all he said.

Anne gave a small smile.

"I miss you, when you're at school," he told her.

Anne smiled bigger.

But then she thought-

Maybe soon you won't have to miss me. I might not be able to go back to school.

Matthew started the buggy and they were quiet for a moment. Anne wondered why he wasn't having them drive faster.

"You know," Matthew said- feeling it was very strange for Anne to be quiet and for him to be the one pushing conversation- "Things are a lot different with you here, with us."

"Things are different for me, too," Anne said.

He nodded. "There's something rather nice about having a child in the house," he commented quietly.

"Matthew," Anne said. "I was wondering what you would think about me not going back to school."

"What do you mean?" he asked her.

"Well, if...if I couldn't go anymore. Whether you'd be disappointed in me."

Matthew knew something was wrong, just as Marilla had. In any other case he'd have asked why she thought she wasn't going to school and impressed upon her the importance of going.

But not now.

He had no idea what she was bothered by, and he was going to do exactly as Marilla had said and let her bring out whatever it was she had to bring out.

"Well, now," he said, "If you didn't go back to school, I suppose it would be nice to have you home more."

Anne breathed a sigh of relief. "That's good."

She was quiet a minute, then said, "Matthew, when you said it was nice to have a child in the house, did you...did you ever think what it might be like to have a baby?"

Matthew felt confused as to where this was going, but stayed with his plan of going along with whatever she said.

"Babies are nice," he said.

Anne nodded slowly. "Um...we're going to see the Perkins' baby."

He nodded. "Marilla mentioned you wanted to do some babysitting."

She slowly shook her head. "I really don't want to," she told him.

"Oh?"

"I only said that because...I wanted to know how much it cost to have a babysitter."

He nodded, feeling more confused than ever.

"If...if someone had a baby and they needed to pay somebody to watch it for them."

He nodded again. "Well, I don't rightly know," he said. "But I'm sure we can find out."

Anne nodded.

They were quiet for a few minutes.

Matthew was unsettled by Anne being so quiet. But he wasn't sure what to ask to invite her to open up.

"I'm not really a fan of babies," she finally said. "But if one has a baby, then they must either be happy with it or at least imagine they're happy with it."

Matthew thought he might know what it was that was upsetting her. "I'm sure your parents were happy with you," he told her kindly. "They wouldn't have left you if they'd had any choice in the matter."

Anne felt confused until she realized Matthew had taken her comments about being happy with a baby, and gone down the wrong thought pathway.

"People get sick and pass on, but that doesn't stop the love they have," he told her, looking ahead at the road. "A parent's love is always with their child, even after they've moved on to the next life..."

Anne nodded slowly.

Matthew was quiet a moment and then said, "I always wonder if those in heaven are able to look down and see us."

Anne, momentarily distracted from her current problem, thought about this. "You think so?"

"Maybe they can hear us, even."

He looked over at her lovingly. "I hope it's true, anyway- I'd like to think that your parents still get to have the joy of seeing what a wonderful little girl you grew up to be, even if they can't be here with you."

Even though this conversation was not at all what Anne expected it to be, his comment made tears spring to her eyes. No one had ever said anything like that to her.

He went on, "And I'm mighty appreciative of them, having you. Or else I wouldn't get to have my little girl."

Anne forgot all her troubles and scooted closer to Matthew, hugging his arm. No matter what happened, he loved her. And for now, that was all she needed.