In the Woods When First We Met

155. Parenting

When Anne woke up, she saw that it was past time to get up for church, and she got dressed as quickly as she could and ran down the stairs.

But Matthew and Marilla were sitting at the kitchen table, having breakfast casually, not seeming in any rush.

Anne stopped.

"We aren't going to church?" she asked.

Marilla said, "We didn't like to wake you. Come sit down and eat."

Anne slowly went to the table and sat down. She reached for a slice of toast, glad to see it was still hot.

"I'm glad we aren't going," she said glumly. "Everyone will stare at me...I don't think I could bear it."

Matthew and Marilla looked at each other. It was so hard to know what to say to her about any of this.

Marilla moved on from the topic of being stared at. She said carefully, "Anne, we've been thinking, and...we've decided not to pursue this in court."

Anne looked up at her. "You mean...no police?"

Matthew shook his head.

Anne let out her breath, tears coming into her eyes. "I'm so glad."

Then, to make sure, she clarified: "I don't have to talk to a judge? At all?"

"No," Matthew said.

Marilla put in, "We feel that it wouldn't...it wouldn't be necessarily helpful to you..."

Anne looked like a weight had been taken off her shoulders, but Matthew and Marilla only added a weight to their own- they looked at each other, as if both needed the other's reassurance that they were making the right decision for Anne.

Though Marilla was steadfast about not subjecting Anne to a trial, she also felt she must at least allow for the opportunity- not wanting Anne to feel she wasn't given any choice- and said carefully, "Unless you feel that's what you really want to do. It was a crime, you have the right to go to court..."

"No," Anne said loudly, shaking her head. "I'm ever so relieved you won't make me talk to a judge. I've been sick with dread over it all night..."

While they were glad Anne seemed relieved, they also worried about whether they were making the right decision. In deciding not to pursue the matter, would Anne later feel that they hadn't taken it seriously? That they hadn't defended her properly?

They were on a journey of finding out what it meant to raise a child- and it was so hard to tell, with children, if you were making the right decisions. It was frightening for them to realize that they could make a decision now and not realize they'd made the wrong one until years later.

But the biggest truth to finding out what it meant to raise a child was learning that all any parent can do is just make the best choices they know how to make, using the information they have available to them at the time, letting their love guide them to do what they feel is best and pray with all their heart that everything would come out right in the end.

Were they doing the right thing? Marilla didn't know.

But Matthew looked into Anne's eyes and said, "The last thing we want is for you to take on any more stress."

And that one thought cemented it for Marilla- they were making the decision they needed to make.