First Love

Chpt. 31

|C H A S I T Y|

"Giirrrrlll these curls are gonna bring out that pretty face even more", Tasha cheerfully said as she removed the flexi rods from my hair. Tasha had been hooking my hair up for years and was the only woman I trusted with their hands in my head. She was not only my personal hairstylist but also my bestfriend, which was why she went as far as to move all the way up here to ATL with me.

"You know I don't really wear my hair too curly but I aint worried cause I know it'll look good, you always know how to hook a hoe up." I winked at Tasha through the vanity mirror.

I was in the dressing room getting prepared for my photoshoot for Black Men magazine. Being the most popular stripper in Miami had open many doors for me as far as urban modeling and music videos. You see, a bitch like me was golden---the bitches wanted to look like me and the niggas wanted to fuck with me. People may call me a bitch for telling the truth but why though? Am I suppose to pretend like I don't see the beauty in myself? Am I suppose to fake like I have low self-esteem? I mean, is it my fault that I was blessed in the looks department? I was a bad bitch and I took full pride in that---every bad bitch should.

Feeling my phone vibrate, I picked it up from my lap to see that I got a text from Murk---the love of my life, the air that I breathe, my soulmate, my unhealthy addiction.

Bae 💕: yo..how da shoot goin?

Me: Its goin great as usual. Pics go be sick af as usual 2 😎

Bae 💕: Y wudnt they be? My bitch bad af 😘

Me: "my bitch?" Nigga plz 💅 ur still inda dog house until u learn to get ur shit togetha.

Bae 💕: Chas stop fuckin wit me, u kno u aint goin nowhere. U always go be my bitch

Me: U stay thinkin im never gonna leave yo ass

Bae 💕: W.e man. Dnt forget to bring me my daughter later on

Me: Y wud I forget? 😒 Bye Murk

I exited out of our messages and placed my phone back on my lap.

The type of love me and Murk had was a trill type of love that was so strong that it couldn't be broken--- which was why it was so hard for me to let him go. I was the Bonnie to his Clyde, the JayZ to his Beyonce, the Michell to his Obama. His down ass bitch. His ride or die. He was the king of my heart. He held the key to my soul. He was the love of my life, and we've been together for 7 years.

Being stupid in love, I've done all types of shit for that nigga, and I'm talking shit I've never thought I'd ever end up doing---prostituting myself just to have enough money left to put on his books in jail and also to buy him the materialistic shit he wanted when he came home, setting niggas up on dating sites just for him to rob their stupid ass, helping him move cocaine, all of it---and it was all because I loved him, a dangerous thing. I really rode hard for this nigga and showed him what true love really was. Some may call me stupid, but love made you do stupid shit, and honestly, I don't regret anything I did at all because all I did was prove my loyalty to him.

We've been with eachother through everything. The Murk you see now---rich and living good---wasn't the same Murk a while ago. Just a while back we were poor and we were struggling but through it all I never left him, I stood right by his side being the down ass bitch that I was---the one he constantly took for granted. I ended up having to strip, which was something I was good at---hell, I was the best fuckin dancer in all of Miami. I did my shit and did it better than any bitch. We both started making a name for ourselves at the same time--me in the dance world and him in the tattoo world. We were soon living good and were able to provide for our daughter the legit way but our relationship remained toxic. I always tried to put myself first and do the right thing by leaving him but I never could bring myself to and whenever I did leave I always ended up coming right back like a fool. Murk had that type of spell over me---a spell that wouldn't break. Those blue eyes always made their way into my soul putting me in a hypnotic trance, making me do whatever it is he wanted. He had the type of power over me I wouldn't wish on anybody.