First Love

Chpt. 33

|A L Y S S A|

I walked into my uncle's guest house and stepped into the bedroom to see my mother still lying in bed in her pajamas. I threw my hands up in the air. "Seriously ma?" I dropped my car keys on her bed. "You been rushing me for hours to come pick you up and you aren't even ready?"

She stepped out of the bed, and I took in her small frame. Those pajamas use to fit her body perfectly but now they look several sizes too big on her.

When my mother came down a few days ago I've noticed some changes in her. She lost alot of weight and her hair---once healthy and thick---was now brittle and a lot thinner. I stood there closely examining her as she took some clothes out of the dresser.

"I was gonna get ready sooner but the Cosby's came on and you know I had to watch me some reruns...but I'm about to shower and get ready now okay?" She smiled that beautiful smile that I always loved.

She let out a dry cough before clearing her throat.

Something told me something wasn't right with my mother---from the constant coughing to the weight loss and thinning hair. In that moment I became more scared than I've ever been in my entire life.

Please God...I need my mama. Let her be okay.

"Mom", I called out to her just as she was making her way to the bathroom. She turned to look at me, and that's when I noticed her face was a bit pale.

She smiled a tired smile, her face worned out and her eyes weary. "Yea sunshine, what is it?"

I swallowed, feeling a strong sense of fear. "If something was wrong with you", I looked her dead in her brown eyes, "you'd tell me, right?"

Completely taken aback, she stared at me for a while. "Of course baby." She chuckled, confused. "Why you asked me that? You think something's wrong with me?"

"Ma, whatever's going on you could tell me. Is everything okay back at home?"

She walked over and sat beside me on the bed and took my hand. "Lyssa, everything's fine. Mommy's okay", she told me with confidence. "I am fine. Just getting a bit old that's all...being 48 ain't easy. Knowing I'm knocking on 50's door is stressful", she laughed, trying to lighten up the mood.

I gave her a weak smile, feeling myself get emotional. "Mama, I love you."

She swallowed me up in her arms and gave me a long tight hug. "I love you too baby", she said in a serious tone. "Now", she released me and got up, "let me go and get ready and we could go do some shoppin! Your uncle gave me his credit card." She winked at me and left for the bathroom, leaving me to wallow in my fears.

Lord please...not my mama. Please God, let my mama be alright.

I said a long prayer and wiped the tear from my eye.

Trying desperately to put my concerns in the back of my head I busied myself by scrolling through my phone. I came across Zach's phone number and thought back to the last conversation we had, which was just yesterday. After cooling down and reflecting on my behavior I realized I shouldn't have blamed him for the media's actions, it wasn't his fault in any way shape or form. I was out of line for how I lashed out at him, and I genuinely felt awful. I mean, I've said some pretty nasty things---things I didn't mean at all.

Should I text him?

After going back and forth in my head for several minutes I decided to just go for it.

Me: Hi

I sat there nervously as I waited for a response. After a few seconds my phone chirped and I looked down to see a message from him.