First Love

Chpt. 94

|V I C K I|

I didn't know what I was going to do about Jeremy, but I did know I didn't want to live like this anymore, and that my heart was somewhere else now.

I scrolled through the photo album on my phone and came across old pictures of us from the night he proposed to me. We were both matching in white and looked so happy together. That night was beautiful and I never felt more special than how I felt when we got engaged.

It was the night of his parents' annual garden party, the theme was Hawaiian. There were hoola dancers, grass skirts and and tiki bars that sold liquor in coconut cups. My family was there as well—they weren't too crazy about Jeremy because of his occupation and blunt attitude, but he appreciated me and loved me so my parents tolerated him. 

Everybody was happy and having the time of their lives. Dancing to Spanish music and eating Dominican food...I laughed because it was a little bit of a culture shock to my family, they were African American so this was all new to them.

It was the night I'd never forget—it was during this special night Jeremy proposed to me. I turned around for one minute and was surprised to see him down on one knee. Our families surrounded us and he gave this sweet speech about me being the love of his life and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life making me happy. He didn't have a ring in his hand, and that's when I looked around to see that all of the kids in our families were holding different rings for me to pick....and there were so many different rings, so many different diamonds.

That was back when he use to spoil me...that was back when he use to cherish me. That was the man I married but that man left years ago. Of course, there were still some red flags in the beginning—he didn't like me wearing certain clothes or talking to certain people and there were times where he tried to isolate me from friends—but despite all that his love and affection was strong enough for me to look pass all of that, and I felt like his good far outweighed the bad, now it's the complete opposite.

I looked up when I heard the bedroom door open, "How you feeling?" Jeremy asked me as he walked in. I had gotten the abortion yesterday morning and was resting in bed.

"I'm feeling a little better", I mumbled, pulling the blanket further up over my body.

He sat on the bed and beginning rubbing my feet, "I want some pussy."

I moved my feet away from his touch, "the doctor said I can't right now. You'll have to wait a few days."

The last thing I wanted was to have sex with him. Hell, I didn't even want to look at him. I've been home all day and he hadn't said one word to me—not even when we was in the car on our way back home from the clinic—but he has the nerve to just come in here and ask me for some and I'm suppose to just give it to him?

"But I want some pussy baby", said again in a softer voice as he begin to rub my thighs.

"Jeremy please stop", I said, still scanning through my phone.

He chuckled angrily, "You fuck some other man but when I want to fuck it's a problem? What? That nigga bigger than me or something? He fuck you better than me? What is it then? Let's get this shit out on the table."

I rolled my eyes, "whatever Jeremy. Whenever I would beg you to talk to fix our marriage you never wanted to but now that I'm the one making the mistake for once now you want to all of a sudden talk and have a conversation. Now all of a sudden you care about our relationship when in the beginning it meant nothing to you."