First Love

Chpt. 30

|Z A C H|

"So what's been up lil nigga? Tell me what's been good with you?" Marlo asked.

I had picked him up from the airport this morning, and now we was at a sports bar chilling over some beers and catching up on shit.

I took a sip of my Corona then placed it back on the table. "Same ol shit as before", I shrugged. "Working on this shop, trying to get shit in order."

Jake laughed as he scrolled through his phone. "That aint it. He ran into Alyssa. I don't know what happened but he been a sad lil puppy lately", he said, telling all my fucking business.

"Oh yea, that's right", Marlo nodded, rubbing his beard, "you did tell me you ran into her at Klent's club...didn't you take her out a few days ago?"

"Yea, but shit went downhill. I don't think she ever wana see my ass again."

Marlo furrowed his brows. "Why you say that?"

I ran my hand down my face, frustrated about what went down. "She's still mad about how things ended between us. She really thought that shit was easy for me. That shit was the hardest thing I ever had to do. She don't know how many years that shit been bothering me---to let her go like that when she was the only thing I had that was worth living for." I shook my head. "I know I was a young nigga but I loved her, I never would've broke shit off with her if I aint felt like I was doing the right thing ya feel me? I aint even do it for me, I did it for her. She aint like other girls---she was above them---and she deserved the world. I didn't feel like I could give that to her at the time...and then there was the shit with her moms", I vented.

The worse thing that ever happened in my life was losing Alyssa. I still regretted that decision to break it off till this very day---9 years fuckin later. And the truth is, I always felt cheated, like these years of my life was wasted all because I had to spend them without her.

I sat back in my seat. "9 whole years, and she wana hold that shit over my head forever", I spat. "Like I aint already fucked up over it as it is."

Jake chuckled. "Somebody give that boy some milk."

"Time don't heal all wounds Murk", Marlo said, "and they don't always change feelings. It's been 9 years and look---your feelings for her still the same." He took a sip of his beer. "So what you go do?"

I sighed. "I don't know. I been trying to reach out to her but she been dodging me. I know I probably should just fall back and let her do her but I can't and I ain't going to. I waited too long to finally meet her again and now that I have, I can't just easily let her slip away like that. I already lost her once, I aint tryna lose her again. And I know she gotta nigga but I don't give a fuck about that dude", I said getting pissed about how she threw him in my face.

Jake looked up from his phone. "So you ain't working shit out with Chasity nomore?"

Chasity.

She's been down for me like no other had. She believed in me when nobody would. She was with a nigga when I aint have shit to my name. Shawty was a real one---the true definition of a ride or die bitch. The most loyal person next to me. Al though I love Chas, I don't know if I can say that I love her the same way I loved Alyssa. I mean, I had Chas do shit for me I would've NEVER allowed Lyssa to do---prostitution, strippin, stealin, helping me move cocaine..you name it, she did it.

I waved him off. "Chas ain't going nowhere...she good."

I know I was currently in a situation with Chas but at the same time, I suffered too long without Alyssa and I'll be damned if I lose her all over again---I was going to be in her life in some type of way and that was on everything.