First Love

Chpt. 8

| A L Y S S A|

We need to talk."

As soon as he mumbled those troubling words I knew whatever he was about to tell me was going to be bad news. I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to prepare myself for whatever it was. "What is it?"

He looked up at me for a minute and then took my hand and kissed it. I stood there waiting for him to speak but he didn't say anything, he just had my hands in his' as he looked down at the floor.

"Zachary, what is it?" I repeated.

He took a deep breath.

My heart dropped when he looked in my eyes and told me, "I think we just need ta go our seperate ways."

Silence filled the room for a few minutes as I stood there trying to process what he just told me.

"But why? Why though? what did I do? Did I say something wrong? What?" I asked in confusion.

I raked through my brain trying to find any little thing that could've turned him off but came up with nothing. I just didn't know why he was doing this. Me and him weren't suppose to ever break up because we loved eachother. I just didn't understand what was going on. I felt the warm tears slide down my cheeks as I look into his blue eyes.

"Nah bae, you didn't do anything", he said softly, "It aint your fault, I just feel like this just how it gotta be right now...it's whats best."

I groaned. "I'm so tired of people telling me what's best for me! First my mom and now you?"

I was sick and tired of everyone trying to make choices and decisions for me as if I was too stupid to make my own.

He got up from the bed to hug me but I pushed him away.

"Don't touch me", I said through clenched teeth. "Don't you ever touch me again!"

"Baby, please calm down...just listen to me", he pleaded. His blue eyes glistened and I could tell he was trying to hold back tears.

"I know it aint what you wanna hear but your ol' girl is right. I'm not the right type of nigga for you, you could do better than me. Look at you. I don't deserve you", I felt the hurt in his voice as he spoke. "I'm a nobody, and me being with you is going to only keep you from growing. I love you too much to watch you ruin your life over a nigga like me"

I just cried and shook my head at him. Does he not know how much I love him?

"My life is ruined if I can't be with you! I have nothing without you because you're everything to me. How can you just sit there and throw us away like that." I wiped the tears from eyes and tried to calm down. I looked at him, shaking my head. "Here I am feelin stupid because you had me thinking you loved me."

"Why would you say something like that? You think I don't fucking love you? Don't tell me I don't love you when all I do is think about you! I can't do shit without having you in my thoughts. You know how fuckin crazy my head was when I didn't hear from you the entire day when your ol girl dragged you out of my house? No other girl could make me feel the way you do. I can't even look at another female because all I want is you", he spat.

I chuckled sarcastically. "You say all this shit and yet here you are breaking up with me as if I did something wrong when all I did was love you. Obviously you don't fuckin love me if you're gonna let distance get in the way of our relationship!"

"It's not the distance bae..please just listen to me. It aint the distance! You really think I'll throw us away over distance? I'm doing this for you because I love you."

My heart was broken in a trillion pieces. I couldn't stop crying no matter how hard I tried. I just couldn't believe he was just going to give up on us like that---as if what we had meant nothing.

He took my hand but I quickly snatched it away, not wanting him anywhere near me.

"Fuck you Zach!" I shouted, "I hate you. I'm glad I'm moving to Atlanta. I never wana see you again!"

I rushed out of his house with him yelling my name.