First Love

Chpt. 78

|Z A C H|

"Damn, she really marrying this kid?" Marlo shook his head, "what you go do about that?" He toked from his Cuban cigar as he waited for my answer.

I shrugged, acting like I didn't give a fuck. "I ain't doing shit, if that's the man she wana be with then it is what it is. That's what I get fa puttin trust in a bitch", I said as I watched some niggas in front of me shoot pool.

"Woah", he raised his brow, "so she a bitch now?"

"Man all she does is lie, I can't trust that broad so I ain't sweating it." I took a sip from my liquor, not wanting to continue with the conversation. I wasn't the type of nigga to talk about shit like this and I wasn't gonna start now. Right now a nigga was hurt, and it always worked for me not to talk about certain shit than to dwell on it.

"I don't think she the type of broad you can't trust, it just seem like she caught up in a bad situation."

I sucked my teeth. "She told me she was gonna leave that nigga and it was all a fuckin lie. She been doin that shit ever since I got back in contact with her. It's like my fuckin feelings is a game ta her. And then she brought that nigga to my shop to disrespect me, talking about she was his wife. I ain't never felt played like that my whole fuckin life bruh, but I guess that's what the fuck I get for playing so many bitches. Guess that's my karma right? And then she had the fuckin nerve to come back ta my shop just ta tell me what that nigga already told me, that she was marrying him. I never wanted to lay hands on a broad that much in that moment. I mean, I had to throw her ass out before I really laid hands on ha....then the shit she was telling me—-telling me that everybody was right about me? What the fuck was that suppose to mean? Her fuckin mouth is wreckless bruh....and she kept acting all scared when I was trying to talk to ha. Like I was some monster or some shit."

Real talk, I was use to motherfuckas looking scared of me like I was gonna rob them at any minute or of them judging me without even knowing the type of nigga that I am, but it felt different coming from Alyssa—-to know she sees me the same as everybody else when I thought she saw something different in me really fucked with me.

"Damn", Marlo said in pity, "so what now?"

"I leave her alone. I ain't chasing after her ass no more. If she wana be with ol boy then it is what it is. I'm good with that broad. I don't need ha, all she did was waste my fuckin time."

"You should talk ta ha", he advised.

"Nah bruh, I don't want shit to do with that ungrateful ass broad. Man I'm good."

Marlo cleared his throat and leaned a little closer to me. "Listen lil nigga... you got a chance that alotta men don't have, and that's to win ha back. I understand you mad right now but you like a fuckin son ta me and I know this shit is bothering you, it's always gonna bother you unless you do something about it. I'm speaking to you based off of experience. I've been in your shoes, the only difference is that I let pride get in the way of going after what I wanted and now what I want is no longer here and it's gone forever. I wouldn't wish what the fuck I go through on anybody man, especially not you. You love Alyssa, I seen what it done to you when she left you the first time, I even see what it's doing to you right now despite the fact that you tryna act like it don't affect you."

I put my hand over my head and looked down at the table between us. "Nah bruh, I lost ha, I'm just gonna have to live with it. Fuck it...fuck her."

"I don't think you lost her, I just think you need to talk to her and set shit straight." He stuffed his cigar in the ash tray. "Y'all had a fight and was saying shit y'all didn't mean, that's normal", he shrugged, "get the anger out of your system and just talk or shit—-go away somewhere together, just don't give up that easily man cause I'm telling you from experience, when she gone she gone and there ain't shit you could do about it. Right now there's a chance you could do something about it—-she ain't married to ol boy yet so you still got some time."

"Let ha be gone then cause I'm tired of chasing after a bitch. She clearly wana be with that man so it is what it is. I could have any bitch I want, shit, even several at the same time if I want it like that. I ain't bout ta keep running after shawty and kissin ha ass like a simp."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "That's ya pride talking...but I'm telling you, all that pride ain't worth losing her forever."

"I'm good man", I stood up, "You ready fa me to beat yo ass in some pool though?" I asked, switching the subject.

He got up from his seat and followed me to the table, "nigga I taught you everything you know."