[[[all of your flaws]]] [[[part i]]]

11.

I had no idea why I'd agreed to this, but what other choice did I have? I wouldn't have lasted ten minutes in that homeless shelter, and even less time on the streets. And Dan had been so nice to me. I had no idea how I'd ever repay his kindness. I had smiled when he called me Lily. No one had called me that in a long time.

I clung onto my bag as he paid the taxi and stood outside a large apartment building. I had no idea where we were and I was scared. Not by him, because I felt safer than I had done in a very long time. Just by the feeling of helplessness. I'd put myself in this situation and now I was dragging a perfectly nice guy into my troubles too.

'Here we go, home sweet home.' We rode up a few floors in the mirrored elevator and he led me into the top floor flat and I felt my jaw drop. It was beautiful. All open plan, with a massive kitchen area, a very cosy looking sofa looking onto a wall of books and films and CDs. And when I looked up I could see a mezzanine level where the bedroom and bathroom must've been. This was all so nice and so different to where I'd been living for four years.

He went right into the kitchen and turned on the kettle, having dumped the large bag he'd been carrying next to the washing machine, mumbling something about sorting that out later.

'Tea?' He held up two mugs.

'Yes please.' He began making them, and I got distracted by my surroundings. I spotted the window over looking the tall buildings of London and was drawn to look outside.

'Not bad hey?' He called over to me. I nodded. 'I bought this not long ago, I landed a pretty big job and thought I might aswell do something grown up and buy a place to live.'

'What do you do?' I wondered. I didn't actually know anything about him. His age, where he was from, only his name and why he'd been on that train.

'I write songs and try and sing them.' He shrugged, as though he was embarrassed.

'Thats pretty cool.' But then I wondered, was this guy famous? Was I supposed to know who he was? He must've read my thoughts.

'Its early days, still gotta find some bandmates, but the company have gambled on me. Let's hope I don't let them down. I don't suppose you can sing?' He laughed.

'I'm tone deaf, sorry.' I didn't have a musical bone in my body. In fact, I was very good at anything. And that was scary. What kind of job was I supposed to apply for? I had no skills, no qualifications, no experience.

'Tea.' He handed me a cup. 'What do you wanna do? There's no point in doing anything today, we'll go to the job centre tomorrow. Do you like films or anything?'

'Erm, I don't know...I...' I hadn't watched a tv in years. I hadn't been allowed to watch one. It had been even longer since I'd been to a cinema or read a magazine or a paper. I had no idea what films were around. I saw his eyes flicker towards pity. 'I mean, yeah, sure. You chose something to watch.' Please, just stop looking at me like that.

'Alright then.' He seemed excited as he bounced off to the wall of DVDs. I sat myself down on the edge of the incredibly comfortable sofa and he returned with a box set of something I'd never heard of. He handed me the case and put the disk into the tv.

'Twins Peaks.' I read out loud.

'So, this is my favourite programme ever. If you like this, then I think we'll get along great but, no pressure. I haven't been able to watch it for ages because my girlfriend-' he stopped short and I saw a sadness wash over him.

'Didnt she let you watch it?' I asked.

'Kind of...not that she stopped me, I just...she didn't really understand my likes and stuff.'

'Thats a shame.' I commented. I knew that feeling all too well. It had begun like that with me until I was too scared to be my own person.

'Thats why she's an ex.'

'Yeah.' I agreed.