[[[all of your flaws]]] [[[part i]]]

22.

At first I'd panicked. I'd never been in this situation with a girl. Especially not a girl like Lily. With Laura, who I had fancied the moment I met her, it had taken a while to work up the courage to even speak to her. And even longer to ask her on a date. When I'd first seen Lily on the train, the furthest thing from my mind was ending up here. Wherever here was. Even if this had a label, I didn't want to put words to it. She needed me and I obliged. The strangest thing was how this was so unstrange. There were no expectations. There was no pressure. I just went along with whatever she wanted. And if that was to lay in my arms all night, then that was fine. I wanted to look after her.

I had no idea what she'd been through. Sure, I had an inkling, and probably proof in the form of the bruises on her back, that she'd been in an abusive relationship, but what else had she faced in her short years? I hoped one day she would be strong enough to tell me.

I woke up first the next morning, not having to use my alarm. It had gone nine, but I left her to sleep a little longer. I turned on the radio in the kitchen and began making pancakes. I didn't know how to make pancakes, but I wanted to try at least. Egg whites and flour covered the kitchen and the pan nearly caught fire.

'What you making?' She said, sitting opposite me. She had put on a white buttoned shirt over the tee, it being far too big and long, the sleeves dangling by her knees. It hadn't seen the light of day since my graduation. It reminded me we needed to go shopping. I poured her a cup of coffee.

'Was supposed to be pancakes...' I tilted the pan to show her the brown, grainy mess.

'Erm.' She giggled.

'Toast?'

'Toast.'

She pushed up the sleeves on her shirt, revealing a blue and yellow hand shaped bruise across her forearm and what looked suspiciously like cigarette burns. I hadn't spotted them before. She must've noticed my eyes flick down to it and she recovered it, embarrassed.

'Did he do that?' I asked outright. She shook her head, but I could see the fear in her eyes. 'You don't have to cover for him. It's ok.'

'I fell over the other day.' I knew she was lying. Was it the same day she'd hurt her back too? I wanted to mention the bruise I'd seen before but I knew I couldn't let her know I'd seen it. As much as I wanted to know, I couldn't go scaring her away. Not when she seemed so much happier than before.

'So we'll get dressed and go shopping. Sound like a plan?' I said, changing the subject. She nodded over her coffee.