[[[all of your flaws]]] [[[part i]]]

69.

That night was the first time Dan and I had sex. Which was rather fitting really, it being our wedding night. It felt amazing to start my life again with him. He was adamant that we shouldn't do it while I was still healing from my broken bones and operations, but I had insisted that I wanted to.

And he'd been so gentle and slow, actually reducing me to tears. No one had ever made love to me. It had always been a dirty fuck in the back of a car, in some shabby hotel room, in my dingy old flat. And the way Dan had carefully undressed me, kissing every inch of my skin, just like he loved every part of me, inside and out. He stopped when he noticed I was sobbing.

'Oh god, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-'

'No. I'm not crying cos I'm hurt.' I said between deep, shuddering breaths. 'I'm crying cos I'm happy.'

He laughed kindly and hugged me. After we'd consummated the marriage, done it for the first time together and christened the bed, all in one go, I was shattered. I fell straight to sleep in the arms of my husband.

Just a couple of days later I felt strong enough to get back to work. We were meeting Dans record label bosses to discuss what we'd do next. He'd had almost a month off and a lot of catching up to do. He'd protested that I wasn't ready yet, but I couldn't sit around a moment longer. I needed to get on with my life.

'I wouldn't mention the whole wedding thing, yet.' He warned me on the walk from the car to the office. I was leaning on him arm for support, still feeling a little shaky.

'They'll know soon enough.' I shrugged. It wasn't a big deal. We were a team. Manager, performer, wife, husband. 'Abba were married.' I pointed out. He chuckled to himself.

'I guess. I just don't want the world judging us. I want to keep us secret so no one can ruin this.' He kissed my hand. I had to agree. Once people knew we were married, they'd all have something to say. People always had their opinions. And the only thing that mattered was us.

I walked into that office and introduced myself as Lily Smith, manager. Mark, Dans producer, was there, along with some PR and AR people. We sat around a large glass table and ideas were being thrown around. Questions about bandmates, musical direction, if anything was finished in the studio yet, how many gigs I had planned, so many things. I answered as best as I could, along with Dan and Mark picking up things I didn't know.

'I think we need to push forward, soon, with getting you out there. You need two more guys to join, as soon as possible. We need to start a campaign. You have a logo done yet? A name? Anything?' An older gentleman in a suit was directing at Dan. He shook his head.

'This week. It'll all be done this week.'

'You've had eight months. It's time to do this. Get an internet following, get some gigs, we'll start getting radio play before Christmas.'

'Gosh, ok.' I said. They sure wanted a lot. I could see Dans eyes wide, like a rabbit in headlights. I was glad I was helping him out now. I put my hand on his knee, silently letting him know I would be there.