[[[all of your flaws]]] [[[part i]]]

72.

I'd given the guys my address and they were coming over later, with beer, so we could hang out a bit more. The great thing was that I did genuinely want to get to know them. It wasn't anything to do with the record company pushing for me to move forward. I'd clearly meant to meet the right people, even if it had taken so bloody long.

She was sat at the breakfast bar, like she normally would be, but she sort of just stared past me. She didn't smile like she normally did. She didn't kiss me back when I kissed her. I knew something was very wrong.

'You ok babe?' I asked her. 'Remember, guys are here in a few hours. What should we cook?' I tried to force her to speak to me. To bring her out of this, scary, episode she seemed to be having.

'Dan.' She said quietly. I had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach by the way she'd said my name. 'Whats this?' She pushed six envelopes toward me across the counter top.

'Letters?' I asked. But I knew exactly what they were.

'It says,' she began, reopening the letter, ''Sorry that you couldn't attend the interveiw for Starbucks Coffee. We'd like to offer you a second chance. Please contact us.'' She held my eyes when she'd finished, boring into me.

'Must've missed their call.' I suggested. But she saw right through me.

'Like I missed the interveiw for that bakery?'

'Huh?'

'This one.' She opened a second envelope. 'The bakery I applied for, I had an interview for that too. And another cleaning firm. This one here is for H&M. MacDonalds. Gregg's. HMV.' She said as she placed each one down in front of me.

I didn't respond.

'Have you been stopping me getting a job?' She came right out and said it.

'I...' I began. I could deal with this in two ways. Lie. I could keep her from knowing the painful truth. Or I could confess. Neither of those would solve this situation. But I couldn't do it to her anymore. 'I am so sorry.'

'Dan, no.' She let out a horrible wail, one that shook my very being. So much hurt in two words. 'Why? Why would you do that? You knew how important this was to me.' I could see her trying to hold back tears.

'Because you don't have to work. You should focus on school and yourself and not money.'

'But you-' She started but couldn't speak.

'I know. And I'm so sorry. I should've told you what I was doing, that I don't want you to get a job.'

I saw the realisation spread across her face. And I saw a little of the light inside her eyes fade.

'Its just like before...' She whispered. 'I've been trapped again. You want to keep me locked away.'

'Lily. No.' I said firmly. That wasn't it at all. I wanted to keep her safe and happy. Keeping her locked away was the furthest from my mind.

'You think that if I get a job, then I'll leave you.'

'No.'

'Do you think I'd use you like that? Don't you know how much I hate relying on you to buy me things?'

'Whats mine is yours, remember. I'm not buying you anything, it's your money too now we're married.'

'Thats why you proposed?'

'Lily, stop it.' I demanded, raising my voice a little. She wasn't listening to what I was trying to say.

'No. I should've seen this. I should've known things were going too well. I can't...' She was on her feet now, backing away from me, looking at me with fear. It broke my heart to see her like this. And her steps got faster and she turned around. She was halfway to the door. I had to act. I couldn't let her run away. I was desperate.

I grabbed her arm to stop her and I saw the fear flash across her face. I let go as though I'd been shocked by electric when I realised what I was doing.

'Lily...I'm so sorry...I...'

'I'm going to bed.' She changed course, walking past the front door and to the stairs. I couldn't believe what I'd done. I don't know why I'd done it.