[[[all of your flaws]]] [[[part i]]]

48.

Her phone began to ring and she looked at me with wide eyes. It had been a week since the interview and she'd been on edge the entire time. I kept stressing to her that it wasn't important if she didn't get it. I was happy to provide everything for us. I was getting closer and closer to finishing my songs off for release. All I needed were bandmates to play with. And gigs to play. And fans.

I watched her face fall.

'I didn't get it.' She said glumly when she'd hung up.

'Thats ok. You'll find something.' I hugged her.

I'd done something really bad. And I felt rotten about it. But I'd been screening her calls. The resumes she'd handed out before had my number on. She'd had two more job interviews come through, but I hadn't told her. I didn't want her to have to work. She shouldn't have to work. I could give her everything she needed. What I wanted her to do was go back to school, get an education and get a really good job a few years down the line. She would be wasted working for some shitty coffee shop. She deserved better.

And ultimately I was scared she'd leave once she had a job. If she could pay the rent and bills, why would she stay here? I knew we were almost, kind of a couple, having done the whole 'I love you' thing I'd seen in films. But what was stopping her upping and leaving when she got her life back together and she didn't need me anymore? Even when I watched her become a little down cast about not finding anything, I didn't have the heart to tell her what I'd done.

'Any calls?' She'd say after kissing me hello when I'd been out all day. I'd shake my head and say;

'Maybe tomorrow. Have you looked into those course guides I got you?'

'Yeah I liked the English language one. Or maybe the nursing one. I don't know. They all need GCSEs and a lot of money.'

'You can resit your exams and you can get student loans.'

She'd shrugged and flicked back through the guide but not really reading it.