[[[all of your flaws]]] [[[part i]]]

50.

I dived home to gather my things together and we left the house in a hurry. I was holding my keyboard, that she had painted my name onto the front of, and had a backpack full of other instruments, a loop pedal, a ukulele and a kazoo, as we thundered through the London Underground. I didn't have time to be nervous. Whenever I felt a little bit sick at he thought of performing without having actually practised for a while, I just looked at her reassuring smile. I couldn't believe she'd done this for me.

'Do I look ok?' I asked her once backstage in the small pub. I hadn't known what to wear. I hadn't wanted to look scruffy, but equally didn't want to look like a posh twat. She straightened the cuffs on my pale blue shirt then patted the collar down. She roughed up my hair into a messy afro, an idea she'd had to make me stand out.

'You look great.' She winked. 'Go and show them what you're about.'

And much to my surprise, it went really well. I barely messed up a note during my six songs and afterwards people were even coming up to me asking for CDs to take home.

'You should set up a myspace page so people can find you. We'll do it when we get home.' She suggested. It felt amazing to have such a supportive girlfriend. Was she my girlfriend? Maybe we should have that conversation at some point. But regardless, it made such a difference from Laura's reluctance to move to London with me.

'I think you should do this for a job. Be a manager!' I told her on the ride home.

'I can barely manage myself.' She joked.

'But you can manage me. You're really good. I would never have got that gig if you hadn't of set it up. And dare I even say I have some fans now?'

'Nah, I'll just stick to finding a place in a shop or something.'

'Lily, seriously. Like, go and do a college course on management or something, you could do this.'

'I guess. It is a lot of fun.' She was smiling ear to ear.

'Do it! Work for me and I can pay you a wage.'

'Like a prostitute?' She stared me right in the eyes. I hadn't realised the connection.

'No.' I told her. The conversation died. I hoped I hadn't upset her. I hadn't meant it that way. I had a great gift of putting my foot in things. The tube ride was spent in silence, as well as the walk to the apartment and the lift ride to the top floor. I went to hold her hand and she moved it away.