never be alone || s.m

19

A single tear ran down my face.

"I helped you put your clothes back on, and then I took you home. You fell asleep in my car, so I took into my house and let you sleep in my bed. I slept on the couch. And then in the morning, you didn't remember a thing. So I didn't tell you. I know I should've, but I knew it would break your heart. And I didn't want to see you upset"

I couldn't move.

I had lost all feeling in my body.

I'd never felt this broken before.

I was so broken I couldn't even cry.

I suddenly felt skin touch mine and it made me hurt inside. I flinched and quickly moved away from his touch, before looking down at my hands.

"Sorry" he quietly apologised.

There was a couple minutes of silence. We were both indulged in our thoughts.

"Do you want me to stay?" he spoke.

I didn't respond. I couldn't.

"Do you want me to leave?"

I managed to lift my head up so that my eyes met his. I saw the pain and sadness in his eyes.

I slowly nodded in response.

He then broke the eye contact and stood up from my bed.

"Goodnight Maya. I understand if you don't ever want to talk to me again. But I'm always here when you need me. If you want me to come over at 2am, I'll be there" he said softly, before leaving my bedroom. After I heard the sound of my front door closing, I let out the tears.

I must have sat on my bed, facing my bare bedroom wall, staring, for hours. It was around 4pm when Shawn arrived, and it was now 10pm.

I felt violated. And used. And empty.