Where the Sun Doesn't Shine

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At first, I thought that the shaking was from the new couch and that I pressed a massage button.  I would give nearly anything for that to be what happened.

The frames on the wall shook, my favorite picture of my late grandmother crashed onto the ground and had the glass scattered around.  “Olive!” I called out, hopping right off of the couch.  “Olive!  Get away from the house!  Get out and somewhere safe!” I shouted throughout the house in hope that she just might hear me.  My attention turned to the creature that was rising from the middle of the living room.

“Oh come on!  Not the new flooring!  I just got that installed!” my dad complained.

“If that’s not the worst part, he is blocking my view of the television.  Get out of the way!” I yelled, wanting at least one more joke to come out of my mouth before the giant did what he was planning to do.

The giant was actually not that large, I mean that he wasn’t that fifty foot monster that eats trees like they are broccoli kind of large.  He stood eight feet tall, and looked like how Hades would look if he was a giant.  The giant was built like a football player and wore a dark cape.  That is all he wore, just a black cape.  He didn’t even have the decently to wear some boxers, he just stood there with just a cape on.

Don’t start cursing me because of my description, thankfully the guy was so dark that he really did make the meaning of “where the sun don’t shine” come true.

“I, am Tenebris!  Son of Gaea, enemy of Apollo!” he boomed.

That actually explained a lot.  “Hello brother!” I called out cheerfully.  “If only there were words out there that could explain how much I despise Apollo!”

Tenebris froze, he definitely was confused.  “But, I thought you loved the gods and were going to fight for them,” he whispered like someone on stage does when they forgot their next line.

“I’m fighting for the gods, but I still don’t like Apollo,” I whispered back.

He shook his head like someone would when they realized how wrong something was.  If you want an example, you would probably do the same thing if you imagine what the giant would look like if the sun really did shine there.  “Then you are no sibling of mine!” he shouted, continuing to act like a wrestler as he flexed his muscles.

“Suit yourself, it is your loss.  Guess who isn’t going to get a Walmart gift card for their birthday,” I taunted.

“How much would the gift card have?” he wondered, his voice quieting down for a moment.

“Ten dollars,” I truthfully answered.

“Then I don’t care!” he shouted, crushing the coffee table just by standing on it to show off his strength.

“Are you trying to make me not get you anything for Christmas?” I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrows.

“Oh, sorry,” he apologized while he bent down to attempt to but the coffee table back together.  “What did I come here for?” he asked himself. There was a moment of silence until Tenebris remembered what he was supposed to do.  “Oh yeah,” he realized than grabbed my dad’s leg and held him so he was dangling with only the giant holding his ankle to keep him from falling.

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