Winter's Love

75

I went to the office because frankly I couldn't be hiding from the situation all my life... The boys made me take three days off and although Shin Hwa came to look for me to help him with work, I also had a job that I couldn't ignore. Before doing it, I put on my best outfit and I put on more care to prepare myself. Even though I'm dying inside, it doesn't mean that others should know. I waited patiently for the elevator to arrive, making a mental note of what I should do today, in an attempt to break the lump in my throat. The doors opened and, calmly, I entered. I pressed the button to go up and I dedicated myself to look at my reflection, arranging a hair out of place. They were about to lock themselves when they opened momentarily, I turned to meet Ravi.

We both looked at each other at an awkward moment. Of course, why didn't I think of using the stairs this time? I was absorbed trying not to think that I never saw this possibility. He cleared his throat and immediately hit the button to go up. I couldn't avoid the feeling of Deja vu. The first time we met was precisely here and in the same way. Oh, life is so unfair. Suddenly I wanted to talk to him, ask him anything that would make me sense things, but when I opened my mouth to confront him, his cell phone rang.

-Hello? -He stood for a while listening-. Yes, I'm in the elevator. Yes, yes, I promise to take you to lunch. See you soon -I didn't have to be a fortune-teller to know it was Hana he was talking to. The first blow of the day... How would I hold on without crying like a child?

I left the elevator as fast as I could. I went to my office hoping to control a little what I felt before going to see the boys. Although it would not be very helpful to find the mural and all the other things he had put in the office... The stuffed animals that he left me from time to time rested on the sofa and the last flowers were still looking proud on my desk. Better to pass the bitter drink at once.

I hoped that at least in my office I could find some peace, but upon entering I found Hana. My nightmares didn't end. She wore a smile smugly deeper than the one she used to wear. Her relationship with Ravi was official, everyone approved them and he looked as if he wanted to lower the universe for her. That press conference and the other reports that have come out during these three days have been scenes that could cause diabetes. A knot settled in my stomach, I knew that the visit wasn't out of courtesy.

-Are not you going to congratulate me? -She asked.

-Already did. Do you want me to write you an essay on that? -She narrowed her eyes and hid her anger. She was here only to rub in my face who had a relationship with Ravi and wasn't going to miss her chance.

-The Cinderella lost her crystal slipper... -I pinched the bridge of my nose so I could breathe. It was bad enough everything I've been through these last days, to add this to it.

-Do you not have anything better to do? Dolls to play with? Do you know how childish you are being? Do you think Ravi can handle the pain you are? I count the days, Hana! I'm making a bet on how long your beautiful relationship lasts -I laughed openly and without saying another word, I retired leaving her alone. I wasn't in the mood to put up with her idiocies and less now. I really wanted to retaliate each and every one of them. So, if she had a little brain, she had to keep her distance. She didn't talk to a Korean woman after all and Latinas don't have the reputation of fighting for the work and grace of destiny.

At that moment I understood that it really doesn't matter in which part of the agency I was, this was going to follow me. And although possibly, when I arrive at my house I will cry a sea, now I had to endure it. I looked for my boys to greet them, but they were not in the practice room, so I thought they would be in the studio. As animated as I could be to see them, I walked there. Being surrounded by the group will make me feel better, even though Ravi is present, they will try to make my attention turn only around the five.

Obviously, it was a lot to ask, the only one inside was him. I closed the door immediately, I didn't want to see his face after I left Hana talking to herself. I stopped and took several puffs of air. It was time to get the answers I needed, no matter what the answers were. It was now or never because I would not find a better time than this to do it. I opened the door again, armed myself with courage.

-No matter where I see it, none of this makes sense. Or at least some of me wants to believe in you yet... -Ravi looked at me steadily and for a moment his eyes stopped looking at me coldly. When he stood up, all that was gone as if that little instant had been the product of my imagination.

-Did you really think I was going to stay with you? What do you have to offer me as an artist? -The breath got stuck in my lungs and I blinked a couple of times; his words took me so unprepared that I could only see him without giving credit to what I heard. I knew about this Ravi, but I never thought I would know it first-hand. This wasn't the warm Ravi that shared with me, but the one who wrote songs that were intended for other people who underestimated his work. He was the same one who climbed a stage and was the owner of all the things he wanted. Not the Ravi that fooled around in VIXX concerts... It's the opposite side that I always knew existed. I took a deep breath, resisting the urge to cry-. Did you really think about it? -He laughed as if I were making a joke-. You're just a worker who has no connection -That was right, I wiped away the tears that threatened to fall because I wasn't going to cry in front of him. First dead. Besides, now he was bothering me so much I could hit him. Those were the words I told him and so much he forced me to change when I wasn't willing to go out with him. I laughed bitterly, he continued: -. And your personality -He made a derogatory noise-. You are not the most mature person in the universe, considering your age.

-You say it as if you were the reincarnation of matures -I laughed without humor. This was absurd, but it hurt.

-There you go again... Do you think that is attractive for any man when we can choose among the most beautiful women and who behave as they should? -Auch, now he had finished with me. A clean and well-done job. I bit my lip and looked around with a disbelieving smile on my face-. I thought liked you Ha Neul, but no... I was just dazzled because you were different. But nothing more, I didn't feel anything beyond curiosity -A part of me was ready for everything else, but this one wasn't waiting for me. That he didn't feel anything? It wanted to say that the happiest moments of my life were a suitcase full of lies. I needed to go out, leave. I was surprised that I wasn't in tears yet, but even though it hurt... I was numb. It was like having drunk a paralyzer that doesn't allow you to move but to witness all the torture.

-Thanks for showing me that all these years I was wrong about the man you were -It was all I could say, and before he saw my tears, I turned around, away from the person I lived through all these years.

-Ha Neul -He called. I took a long breath before facing it. Ravi approached slowly and did the most unexpected thing of all: pulled from my neck that necklace that he gave me in the forest. Without saying anything else, he continued on his way taking Hana's hands who entered at some point in our conversation and immediately prepared to say something stupid. It wasn't long when Sun Hee stuck her head out the door.

-Here you are, I was looking for you throughout the company.

-Sun Hee, can you take me home? -She looked at me with alarm-. I don't feel well -I took a step in her direction but I didn't get to her.

-Ha Neul! -I listened with concern. It was all I heard before everything went dark.