rose garden | minsung.

lmh ♡ .12

i took off my shirt before playing the movie since i couldn't get comfortable. i could feel jisung's stare on me and it reminded me when he walked in on me and changbin. only making me feel a little more self conscious around him. i sat back down next to him and covered my stomach only my chest was exposed now.

"changbin and i watch this whenever one of us is upset." i explained cause i was feeling hot with him staring at me. and it worked since he averted his eyes.

"felix likes to quote this shit at stupid times" jisung mumbled. i laughed softly, thinking changbin and him would get along good since he likes saying stupid things at the wrong times. changbin had told me before that he found felix cute, but they didn't really talk till this year. he'd tell me about his encounters with felix and how he was a great guy.

"changbin is stupid at times" i replied, thinking about all the times he's messed up which would be his whole lifespan. but he's my friend so i wouldn't actually tell him that. besides, i am not exactly far behind him as well.

"changbin hyung is short" jisung replies. i shoved him lightly. i can only make fun of changbin anyone else and i'll fight them. but i feel as though jisung isn't really insulting him, only more like stating the truth which he is.

"i like that he's short. he's good to cuddle." i retorted, defending him, although i do agree. he is little, but i know changbin would smack me if he heard me.

"well, i'm short, too. you can cuddle with me hyung" jisung replies, opening his arms like a five year old. i smiled at him, finding it cute.

cute?! wait—

"i guess come here" i replied, opening my arms. he practically lunges at me so we were laying down now.

"see, am i good for cuddling hyung?" jisung asked, wrapping his arms around my waist laying his head on my chest. i prayed he wouldn't hear my heart beating fast. i wrapped my arms around him, drawing him close. i don't know what has gotten into me recently when i am around jisung, but maybe it's because he was here in this moment that i can't help but try and show some ounce of appreciation. i pulled the laptop on me along with the chips and his phone.

"yes, are you comfortable?" i asked him. he let out a giggle and nodded. i found my heart beating fast hearing him giggle. it sounded really cute, i couldn't deny that.

his phone lit up with a notification and i felt my face heat up. he had the picture of us at the diner as his wallpaper. he scrambled to obtain it while his face was flushed. he sat up answering the person back and place it down.

"you looked really good and it's the only picture i have of you. plus, you were really nice to me that day and i liked spending time with you. i felt like we were friends. i only really have felix as my friend. you even paid attention to me the whole time." jisung said looking at me. i felt horrible for treating him the way i did. all he really wanted was my attention and i ignored him because i'm too pathetic to move on from the past. he probably just annoyed me because it was the only way to get my attention or for me to notice him.

is this what changbin and jeongin meant?

his eyes got watery, but he didn't let the tears spill. and that made me sit up.

i pulled him in for a hug, running my fingers through his hair. i pulled away to put my finger underneath his chin to look at me.  "i liked spending time with you too. i'll be your friend okay?" i asked him. he nodded, although he didn't seem overly happy with being friends. "hyung will pay more attention to you, " i said to him.

"promise?" he asked, sticking out his pinky finger. i wrapped it around his without a second thought as i pressed my forehead against his looking into his eyes. our lips ghosting each other.

"promise." i responded. i gave us space and took out my phone. "here. put you're number in and set the photo as my wallpaper" i handed him my phone. he punched his number in and set the photo as my background. "whenever you wanna talk to me or meet up you can text me alright?" i said. he nodded, smiling this time. we laid back, down to watch the film. unlike the last time i was more comfortable being like this with jisung than waking up not knowing how we ended up in the same bed. he was more comfy to cuddle than changbin but i wouldn't tell him that.

throughout the movie jisung would feed me some chips. i would do the same in return. he'd make some stupid remarks during the movie, especially during the ogres having layers part. i lost it, laughing at him pulling a face.

"what's so funny?" jisung asked, confused as to why i was laughing.

"'why are you so bitter? you're more bitter than the school lunches'" i bit my lip as i mimicked what he told me. he gazed at my lips before he looked at my eyes.

"ah, hyung you tease too much" jisung whined as he hit my chest lightly, attempting to get up. i laughed softly and pulled him back.

we watched the movie and it was genuinely fun. i thoroughly enjoyed his company and his presence. it makes me feel like my old self once more. that's all i've ever really wanted. to feel like my old self and i found it with jisung. so if i have to be selfish about spending time with him i will. the entire time i got the familiar impression of fuzziness in my stomach. i'm scared because i recognize that feeling can never bring me good. it wasn't the last time, but watching jisung's chest rise and fall laying on me, i could feel my troubles go away. even if it only lasts for a little while.

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