rose garden | minsung.

lmh ♡ .14

stupid binnie. i was not thinking about what i saw until you mentioned it. and now i can't stop thinking about it. ugh i'll definitely get him back for this. now i'm all awkward at the table and i think jisung noticed it. that can't be good cause i'm definitely gonna be interrogated for it. knowing jisung he'll see right through me if i lie.

i don't even know how to describe it in the first place. it's a weird feeling. and it's freaking me out a little. i mean, if i think real hard i can figure it out right? how hard can it be? i mean i'm the top of most my classes this can't be hard. it's just what i feel.

hmm, i don't know, maybe i can ask wikihow or google. yeah, maybe if i search up my symptoms, then i could figure it out. i mean i did it when i needed help talking to people. and if i have a few friends it must mean it did some good.

i will have to wait until i'm alone to look it up or else they'll get suspicious. i picked at my food as i thought of possible times i could look it up. i have a few more classes during the day so i'm gonna probably have to wait till i get home. ugh, it's gonna bother me till then. i shoved my food away not really in the mood to eat it now that i was itching to find out what's wrong with me. i can't be sick right? i mean holiday break is coming.

"min, you okay?" changbin asked as he put his hand on my thigh to get my attention. i smiled when i saw him cause i thought of an idea.

"yeah can i come to your place after school?" i asked him lowly so that the others couldn't hear us.

"sure, you don't really have to ask though," he replied back in my ear. i nodded, smiling at my victory.

maybe changbin can help me figure out what's wrong. okay, i think i can relax a little bit before more people start to figure out my weird behavior.

when the bell rang, i sprinted off to my next class. i just want the day to end already so i can clear my mind off this.

my last period in class i finished my work early and managed to sneakily search up my symptoms. i am not happy with the results. the first time i tried it said i was pregnant. which is a little off, but i tried again and now i have cancer and i could die in a few months. yeah, that's the last time i'm trusting the internet for something.

i showed up to changbin's dorm with the stupid news of the internet results. i saw him using his phone when he saw me. he put it down and motioned for me to come. i laid down next to him defeated.

"i need your advice" i said to him. he perked up at that.

"with?" he asked curiously as he leaned closer to hear it.

"i haven't been feeling like myself. i don't know how to describe it, but i looked it up on the internet and it said i was pregnant and then it said i have cancer and that i'm dying in a few months. make sure to play my playlist at the funeral and give my baby off to my parents." i responded sounding more bitter with every word. this just made him laugh. i grabbed a pillow and hit him with it before i realized it was penis shaped pillow. "you actually have a penis shaped pillow?!" i exclaimed dropping it quickly.

"y-yeah i g-got it for y-you" he responded through laughing.

"i'm serious help me" i whined pouting at him. he calmed down and held my hands a serious expression on his face.

"okay first off how many months are you due? and second off don't use the internet for help. like ever again for situations like this. now tell me is it about what happened with jisung and hyunjin?" he asked me i nodded simply to let him continue. he smiled in return. "that's easy then. you were jealous."

"w-what? no, i wasn't." i replied stuttering. i cursed myself because now changbin will definitely think that i was in fact jealous when i wasn't.

"it's okay to be jealous. you know everyone gets jealous it's normal. even i get a little jealous when i see you with others. but your my best friend and i know you better than you know yourself." he responded giving me a sympathetic look.

"b-but i'm not. y-you're wrong." i responded getting up. i walked out without another word. he's definitely wrong on that. hell, i would take that few months to live over this or even the pregnancy. it made me think back to woojin. fuck this can't be happening again. how do i stop it?

"minho hyung, i was looking for you." jisung interrupted my thoughts. i snapped my head up to look at him.

"yes, what is it?" i asked, looking around anywhere but him. what changbin said about being jealous is bothering me now. i'm not! right?

"i was trying to check up on you and see if you were alright" he said.

"can i be honest with you jisung?" i asked him. he nodded almost immediately. "well, i'm not really alright. i have a lot on my mind. but i can't seem to stop thinking about this one person. and i don't really know what to do. i don't want to see him with someone else if he was with me." i responded i watched his expression. hopefully he can help me, right? jisung must have experience with this. his advice would be better than the internet at this point. although if he tells me i have a serious disease i'm losing it.

"i don't really know hyung." he responded after a while. i let out a sigh before i ruffled his hair trying not to show my disappointment.

"it's alright." i answered him and began walking in the opposite direction in search for a specific person. someone i know could clear things up.

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