rose garden | minsung.

lmh ♡ .23

the trip back home was great. we held hands as we drove and the car was full of talk. i haven't experienced this in a long time so it felt nostalgic. i missed having someone to love and care for. jisung makes me feel things i haven't experienced with woojin much. as we were nearing the school i began getting nervous. i don't know how to act once we get in school. i wanna hold him and show him off but i'm also scared to. i am not ashamed to be seen with him. i just don't know if i am boyfriend material. i mean i haven't done stuff like this in a long time so i'm afraid. plus if i do it can bring unnecessary attention to jisung and i don't want those guys hurting him.

we parked the car and i helped him get out. he reached to hold my hand but i pulled away. i could see the disappointment in his face but i pretended not to.

"sorry, we have to get the bags" i said trying to excuse myself for being such a wimp.

i grabbed a hold of the bags and we walked side by side into the building. once we reached the hall to the dorms. i turned to face jisung and we both agreed to meet up once we finished unpacking at the lounge with everybody. jisung reaches up standing on his tippy toes to give me a kiss. i panicked a little and turned my face away.

"not now. it's not the time or place" i answered he only nodded in response before we went our different ways to our dorms.

i needed advice and fast. i stepped inside my room to see jeongin unpacking his luggage. he looked really cute in his black long sleeve turtle neck and black beanie. he turned when he heard me drop my luggage to the side of the door.

"hyung!" he exclaimed before dropping the shirt he was holding. i went over meeting him halfway as i pulled him in for a hug.

"baby!" i remarked i know he doesn't really like it when i call him that but i don't care. he scrunched up his nose at the nickname but nonetheless still hugged me. changbin and i claimed him as our child since we befriended him.

"stop calling me that. i am a man now." he retorted puffing out his cheeks. i smiled watching him do so.

"yeah, sure you are. i got you something" i said smirking as i watched his face light up. i reached into my luggage looking for it. once i saw the vibrant bag i pulled out the bag of treats. jeongin squealed behind me before he took the bag. he said thank you multiple times before shoving some down his throat. "how was your break?" i asked him watching his stuff his face. he swallowed harshly before replying.

"good. my parents told me to wish you merry christmas and happy new year" jeongin explained before continuing to put more in his mouth.

"likewise" i muttered as i placed my bag on my bed. i turned to face him.

"so" jeongin began as he smirked at me wiggling his eyebrows. i mimicked his actions although i was confused i figured why not go along with it.

"so?" i asked him

"how was your break? did you spend it with your boyfriend?" jeongin asked his eyes shining as he waited for my reply. i could feel my face heat up at the word and because of the specific boy i immediately thought of. seeing my face turn pink made jeongin squeal. "tell me hyung please" jeongin grabbed my arms and he begged pouting.

"it was amazing if i'm being honest. i mean we had an argument but that seems to have made us even closer i think. and we aren't boyfriends." i answered as i looked anywhere else but jeongin. his face seemed to fall a bit.

"what do you mean? explain. tell me everything" he replied

"you sound like a school girl" i replied before i began to actually explain how everything went down. we sat on his bed facing each other while jeongin would occasionally squeal or jump. once i was done explaining to him i waited for his response.

"why didn't you let him hold your hand or kiss you? i mean you said that you both know how you feel about each other why not make it official?" jeongin asked i rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly.

"i don't know if i am good enough to be his boyfriend. i mean i haven't done this in a long time. i lack experience. the last time i did it was with woojin. what if we make things official jisung gets bullied even more because of me. he gets called horrible things already. this will just add on more attention to him. or what i-" i was cut off by jeongin.

"hyung you both like each other. jisung probably wants to makes things official with you and you not doing so will make him think you are embarrassed of being seen with him. you can protect jisung it shouldn't matter about the others as long as you guys have each other. i know you well hyung. i know you will treat jisung right. you are very affectionate and even little things like holding hands, cuddling, kissing, dates, fights, or listening. a lot of that comes with dating. if you don't, people will think you both are available and someone might ask you out or him. that can hurt the both of you. but i know you'll be fine and will do the right thing." jeongin explained i sat there looking at him speechless.

he was right. hell i can't run away from this because i'm scared i'm not good enough or that he might get bullied for it. i will protect him if i have to. i want people to know that i'm with him. i don't want someone else trying to take him away from me if he's mine. and i don't want to hurt him if people come after me. i want jisung to know what i feel for him is genuine. i really do like him. i want to make this work. i want to give it a chance.

"you're right." i muttered silently. jeongin could honestly be a spokes person. he just gave me his whole TED Talk. "so how do i ask him to officially be my boyfriend?" i asked after a while.

"well, are you doing anything after this?" jeongin asked me.

"yeah, we were supposed to all meet up at the lounge." i explained he thought for a moment.

"well cancel, this is more important. say something came up. i'll text hyunjin the same." jeongin answered as he whipped his phone out.

i nodded although i was a little skeptical. i pulled out my phone and went to jisung's name. i typed a quick messages to jisung hoping he'd understand.

i turned to jeongin who put his phone down smiling brightly. "now to make this official!" he exclaimed

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