Weeb's Diary

To hope or not to hope

online

2/1/19

So its Harry Styles' bday today so hbd to him 

alright so 

song above is a recommendation from loend cuz yeah 

So our sports fest is done and now we have a long weekend ahead of us and i still need to do a script for my english performance 

and so 

alot has happened 

Aria loosing her shit cuz she can't stand the things i do and yeah... makes me feel like i didn't change at all when i thought i did but im serious now and well im trying my best 

My paranoia kicked in earlier today and well i couldn't control my anger and ended up like hitting loend with a racket multiple times then he grew quiet so i thought 
"oh fuck now, nice going dipshit, lose a friend twice in a span of 2 days" and so i headed back to my classroom and well cried cuz i hate myself and blamed my entire existence 

my friend saw me and asked what happened and i told him like the gist of it all and then he headed out then he returned and i saw kuro outside of my classroom. I couldn't even look at him but well he called me and i stood up and then he said "143" and i got confused about the meaning but he explained it to me and honestly 

it made me smile in relief and there's this part of me that was being a pessimistic lil shit "he's just saying that to cheer you up, it's not actually true" but well for the first time in a long ass while my positive side overcame it and i was kinda happy at least and well yeah i got back to my upbeat self

and in the end, i approached loend and kept apologizing but he said i didn't do anything so yeha we're good and THANK GOD OML

then like yesterday me and kuro were hanging out for like whole day and well...MAH FEELINGS ARE MAKING A COMEBACK LIKE HOW KPOP GROUPS DO IT 

guysssssssss

My feelings are coming back and im trying not to get my hopes up, im trying so hard not to let it get to me, I'M TRYING HARD NOT TO FALL AGAIN 

IM TRYING 

TRUST ME 

but my gawd can he show his soft side 

its like THE CUTEST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD 

i just-

AAHHH

OKAI OKAI 

I'LL STOP 

BEFORE I TURN INTO MY PAST SELF 

ANYWAYS 

THAT'S ALL 

SHIRO OUT 

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