Weeb's Diary

UUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH

2/21/19

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SO !
couple of days have passed, yeah i took a long ass while to update but here i am, breathing and barely alive, 

honestly this day is just meh, like shitty meh, LIKE VERY SHITTY UUGHH !

Aria being such a bitch, Loend losing interest and like UUUGHH FUCKING SHIT 

i swear if i get so pissed while writing this, i might use my native language of filipino to express how shitty this day felt, i'll say sorry in advance if some of you are from other countries and can't understand a thing i said 

anyways ! 

first thing that happened was in the morning, by now it has been a couple of days and its become accustomed for me to go to Loend's house every morning so we can go to school together in the morning and well yeah,

today, was a special day for our school cuz some creditors will be observing us and shit like that and so our call time was a tad bit early 

and well to catch up with Loend, i decided to run and guess what, that didnt end well for me, considering i was an asthmatic lil shit, i started having an attack but i managed to control it but also my legs were getting real fucking numb from me running 
and yeah 

next is aria being a total bitch ! 

something happened yesterday with kuro and yeah basically we were going home with the siblings and it was kuro's idea to make me and loend go with them but like yesterday, things got prettttttyyy steammmyy so yeh, not going into detail with that cuz it'll give me a headache/ cringe effect/guilt trip/ JUST ME BECOMING A BALLING MESS 

aria and i were at kuro's table and like they were gonna go fall in line, before kuro left, aria said to him "Kiss Shiro on the cheek before you go" as soon as i heard that, I immediately pushed aria and began walking away from her 

LIKE POTANG INA, BAT NIYA KAILANGAN SABIHIN ?!
THIS IS WHY I FIGHT WITH MYSELF WHETHER OR NOT TO TELL HER SHIT THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME 

CUZ SHE'LL SPOUT IT OUT LIKE IT'S NO BIG FUCKING DEAL 

LET ME SAVOR THE MOMENTS IN PEACE OMFG 

NEXT IS UUGHH 

GUILT TRIP IS KILLING ME 

I WANNA PUNCH A WALL AGAIN 

BUT MY RIGHT HAND IS ALREADY BRUISED WITH MY LAST ATTEMPT 

FUCKING SHIT 

THIS IS WHY I HATE MYSELF GOING MAD 

ANGER TURNS INTO FRUSTRATION THEN TURNS INTO TEARS 

LIKE A FUCKING ANGRY CRY IF YOU WILL 

AND YES IM GONNA DO THE REST IN MAYBE ALL CAPS ! 

i dont even want to talk about my outburst like 

its that bad 

well every time i have an outburst it'll end up with me a crying mess 

anyways 

well i guess 

fuck 

imma go and ughh 

punch a wall 

silently scream at myself 

and maybe yah 

i'll go do that 

but hey

its better than cutting right ?

that's bad

oh well 

screw it 

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