Cutthroat

Prologue

𝒮ℯ𝓇𝒶𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒶 ℒ𝓎𝓈𝒶𝓃𝒹𝓇𝒶 𝒟𝒾𝓁𝒶𝓊𝓇ℯ𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓈
Recalling Past

The last people I want to see right now are the Vernans.

"Sera..." Tinawag niya ako habang ako ay nasa swing.

Liningon ko siya at ngumiti. It was no other than Gabriel Lorenzo Vernan. The one who courted me then dump me. My eyes were not for him, anyway.

"Gabriel..." Pumiyok ang boses ko sa dulo.

Damn it!

Natigilan siya. Kitang-kita ko ang guilt sa mukha niya. Pero, kung sana'y alam niyo kung ano talaga ang pinanggagalingan ng mga luhang ito, hindi na siya magi-guilty kung bakit ako umiiyak.

"Ayaw kong isipin mong ginawa kitang panakip butas." Sabi niya.

"Right!" Napabuntong-hininga ako. Tumayo ako sa swing. Ang mga kamay ko ay inilagay ko sa aking likod. "Akala mo siguro, naka-move on ka na. Pero bumalik siya kaya nalito ka?"

Pumatak na naman ang panibagong luha sa aking mga mata. I wanted to tell Gabriel what I truly feel but I cannot bring myself to say something. Lalong-lalo na at kapatid niya ang pag-uusapan.

"Mahal kita, Sera. But, I'm sorry..." I gritted my teeth for being such a jerk. "Maybe, that love wasn't the kind of love that I thought it was."

Napatango ako. Lumapit siya sa akin at yinakap niya ako. Humikbi ako habang inilibing ang mukha ko sa kanyang dibdib. I don't need his explanation. I just want to seek comfort. Masyadong masakit.

"You don't have to be sorry. I understand..." I said in between my pathetic sobs. "Maybe, you just saw me as a sister that should be taken care of. Hindi tulad ng nararamdaman mo sa babaeng iyon."

It was not Gabriel that made me cry. It was how he saw me that made me remind of Raphael Vernan.

"You're my sister, Sera. Humanap ka ng iba." I remembered how Raphael said it bluntly and nonchalantly that made my heart shatter.

This time, sa akin na lumabas ang mga katagang iyon. I don't want to hear it from another Vernan. Maaalala ko lang siya at masasaktan.

I, then, let go and forced a weak smile. "I won't think ill of her or you. I wish you happiness, Gab."

It hurt. Ngunit, may parte sa aking naibsan ang bigat ng loob. Atleast, Gabriel can be fully happy. Hindi na siya aasa sa akin. He has someone that will make him happy.

Kung ako ang nasa posisyon niya at magkagusto man si Phil sa akin, I will exactly do the same thing. I'll leave Gabriel for Phil. It would make me feel guilty and worse.

Mas mabuting ako na lang muna masaktan. I cannot bear the guilt.

I was relieved.

But, I'm not ready to see the triplets for a while.

"You sure, you're okay?" Candice hugged me the next morning.