Cutthroat

Chapter 32

Unwanted

Miguel stared at me, perplexed. "Ano'ng pinagsasabi mo? They're family friend. Our families belong in an aristocratic society."

"Kay Lowella Marqueza."

"She's a friend." Miguel responded, coldly. Mas lalo lang naningkit ang mga mata ko dahil hindi man lang siya makatingin ng direkta sa aking mga mata. 

"Kung ganoon, ano'ng deal ang pinag-usapan niyo?" Napataas ako ng kilay. 

"Sera..." 

"Tumakas ako, Miguel." Pag-amin ko. Napahinga ako ng malalim. "My.... My brother is in Flores, Antique."

Nagtiim-baga si Miguel at napamulsa. Napakurap-kurap ako sa naging reaksyon niya. Hindi ba siya interesado sa maaari kong sabihin? Ilalaglag ko na ang sarili kong pamilya rito! Bahagya akong nabigla nang tinalikuran niya lang ako.

"We can talk about that later," he said. "Mabuti pang magpahinga ka muna."

Napako ako sa kinatatayuan ko. What the hell is happening to Miguel? Where are his ruthless manners? Nasaan na ang pang-aasar niya? Ang pambibwiset niya? 

He stopped on his tracks when he noticed I wasn't following him. He turned again to look at me with a straight face. "Follow me, Sera," he said, imperatively.

Tila may sariling mga isip ang paa ko.  Sumunod ako papasok sa bahay niya. Napatingala agad ako sa statement chandelier sa living area nang bahay. Para sa isang lalake, masyadong marami ang mwebles at painting na nakikita ko. He lead the way to a glass staircase to a room.

My favorite scent lingered under my nose right away. Napatingin ako sa bedside table kung saan nakita ko ang paborito kong scent diffuser. 

Ibinaling ko ang tingin ko kay Miguel na nakahalukipkip at nakahilig sa hamba ng pinto. 

Oh, this is unbelievable!

"How long did you prepare for this room, huh?" Ang bilis naman 'ata.

He stared at me coldly. Hindi ko alam kung ano na ba ang tingin niya sa akin. Kinasusuklaman niya na ba ako? Nag-aalala ba sya kahit kaunti para sa akin? Masaya ba siyang nagkita na kami dahil magagamit niya na ako bilang instrumento sa paghiganti sa ginawa ng pamilya ko?

Hindi ko talaga alam. Ngunit, kitang-kita sa mga mata niya ang panlalamig. 

Like shards of ice, his stares were piercing cold.

"As soon as I receive Ella's message that she found you," he said, grimly. His jaw clenched and then he looked away.

I took careful steps towards but still kept enough distance between us. Gusto ko siyang lapitan. Ngunit, hindi ko rin gustong masyadong lumapit sa kanya. His a living manifestations of danger. Although, he seems to have no intention to harm me, I will always feel danger around him.

"Liar!" I spatted. Don't get me wrong! I barely handled myself alone but I'm not that gullible to believe his words.

"Paniwalaan mo ang gusto mong paniwalaan," sagot niya. "Ganyan ka naman palagi."

Napataas ako ng kilay. He's dodging the topic by attacking me.

Napasinghap ako bago magtanong muli. "Paano ako nakilala ni Lowella Marqueza?" 

"Do I have to explain?" He said bluntly. "Hindi ba obvious?"

Napairap ako sa kanya. Pinagkrus ko ang aking braso at tinalikuran siya upang umupo sa kama. 

"You and your family went missing. Of course, I'll use all my connections to search for you..." He blurted but he trailed off. 

For a sec, I was surprised to see his outburst. Hindi ko inalis ang tingin ko sa kanya habang napapahilot siya ng sentido. I watched him calm himself. Miguel will always keep his cool and maintain an easygoing facade. 

Alam niya kung paano kontrolin ang galit niya. Ngunit, ngayon tila nahihirapan siya. 

Naiintindihan ko naman. It is not easy for him to control his anger, right now. After all that happened... Alam kong galit na galit siya sa pamilya ko... sa akin. Marahil ay matagal niya na itong kinikimkim at punumpuno na siya ngayon.

Nang makita niyang hindi ko inaalis ang mga titig ko sa kanya, napatalikod siya sa akin. Naririnig ko ang kanyang mga buntong-hininga. Cold silence filled the room. Kahit sa kaloob-looban ko, ramdam ko ang panlalamig.

Napasinghap siya. He put right hand at the back of his neck flexing his diamond-studded Rolex watch. He gazed at me with no emotions shown on his face but his words were like dripping acid of despise. "Magpahinga ka muna. I'll have to talk to you tomorrow."

Napatayo ako. "Bakit hindi ngayon?"

Napataas siya ng kilay. Sarkastiko siyang tumawa.

"Do you think you're in the proper shape to deal with the thing that I want to do to you?" He snapped.

Thing? 

Maraming brutal na bagay na ang sumagi sa isip ko. Ganoon ba siya kagalit sa akin na gusto niya na akong saktan?

Naiintindihan ko naman kung ano ang nararamdaman niya. Hindi ko alam kung ano kalalim ang galit niya sa akin pero naiintindihan ko kung sa nanggagaling iyon. 

Napalunok ako at napatuwid ng tayo. Although I could feel a slight tension, I was still able the breathe calmly and relax my shoulders.

"Fine. Susundin ko ang sasabihin mo," sabi ko at direkta siyang tiningnan sa kanyang mga maiitim na mata. 

His eyes is always a pair of brown orbs, as light as cinnamon when struck by light. It always looked sly in between his long, dark lashes. However, right now, I'm seeing a different side of it. Just like obsidians in a cold and dimmed space, they look stealthy. His gazed at me like I was disgusting ang untrustworthy. 

Napalunok muli ako. "Sa gabing ito, hindi ako magpapakita sa'yo. I'll stay inside this room and never come--"

"Gugutumin mo ba ang sarili mo buong gabi, ha?" Pagpuputol niya sa aking pagsasalita.

Is he being unreasonable?

"Akala ko hindi ka handang makita ako?" Tanong ko. "I think it would be better and more comfortable for you if I don't get out of this room."

He let out a mocking chuckle. "I'm going home."

Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. Parang may parte sa kalooban kong gumuho. "Isn't this your home?"

I know he was about to laugh at my stupidity but he stopped himself. Instead, he suppressed it into a smirk.

"Hindi tayo magbabahay-bahayan dito, Sera," sabi niya. "I can't spend the night here."

With that, he left. 

Para akong pinako sa sarili kong kinalalagyan. The next thing I heard was the sound of his car's engine. Doon pa lang ako nakagalaw at napasilip sa bintana. Hindi ko naabutan ang sasakyan niya. 

He did leave.

Kung kanina, isang bahagi lang ng kalooban ko ang gumuho. Ngayon, pakiramdam ko, unti-unti na akong gumuguho, nanghihina. Hindi ko alam ang dahilan. 

Maybe, it was my expectations... my failed expectations.

I was expecting him to show any emotions. A part of me was wishing that he will be happy when he'll see me but it was too far from possible and instead, I expected for a worst-case scenario. I expected him to get angry at me, spat at me and hurt me. He did not. Malamig pa sa nyebe niya akong tinrato. I expected him to ask me different question, interrogate me endlessly. But, he gave me a kind of interaction I did not anticipate. Sa halip, umalis siya.

Napaupo ako sa silya. Malungkot kong tiningnan ang repleksyon ko sa salamin. Sinusubukan kong hanapin sa mga mata ko, sa ekspresyon ko kung ano itong nararamdaman ko.

Napasinghap na lamang ako habang tinitingnan ang miserable kong disposisyon sa salamin.

You feel unwanted, don't you, Sera? I thought to myself.

☕