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This is a fancy British Rat I had drawn on me yesterday- so I dont try to kill myself (or cut)
I dont even cut on my wrists anymore that was two years ago, I cut on my thighs now so thats a oof.
I had something resembling an anxiety attack yesterday on Josh's birthday. Went to my friend and talked to her outside where we were practicing for showcase in chorus.
Then my former brother figure came up and he tried to comfort me (aka squat down and just stare at me pretty much)
Austin said he would have ran to me if he was still at the school but he wasnt there.
Josh later came and I was outside crying like a fucking crybaby (because of stress about finals and showcase and not killing myself)
He came up and hugged me. He said thank you and I said I'm sorry.
Then I cried again.
FUCK MY SENSITIVEITY I HATE IT.
I cant handle any small talk. I cant handle confrontation. I cant handle being yelled at. I cant handle someone raising their voice at me. I cant handle it.
Does anyone notice?
I'm gonna make a corpse in my bed soon if nobody notices.
WHY CANT I FUCKING DO ANYTHING RIGHT. IM A FUCKING MESS, I CANT BARELY FUNCTIONING WITHOUT BEING A BITCH TO ANYONE. maybe if i just leave no one will notice.
I'm gonna play Mister Rogers saying "I love you just the way you are" on a loop now bye bye.
