(me rambling ab my love life, i guess. also a small treat at the end ;) )
its short for the experience. that's all.
what have i learned from them?
not to take shit from nobody. to never be submissive to a man's "needs." that i am much more than my body. that i will always be trusting and kind and present. to never allow myself to stop being myself. to never feel clingy or annoying when i am in love. to never allow myself to feel like i belong on the back burner.
because hell, if you wanted me you would've let me talk to you whenever.
if you LOVE someone, you won't leave them for themselves to have someone else take your place.
i had to save my mentality because right now i am in the third-lowest point in my life. i wanted to die it got so bad. so, in the words of Major, "Get rid of your unnecessary stressors" so uh... yep. did that. oops but some sOlId advice.
my mAns is teaching me how to girlfriend because, with blake, i was a toy. with josh- i was a little more of a girlfriend but more so a way to pass time when he was bored it felt like. my mAns is wonderful. he is there for me- all the time. he isn't using me for my body- he is willing to wait on me to get better from my past.
because hell, Quin scarred me a hella lot.
love, like i said before, is mostly patience. he is willing to wait on me to get better, and im willing to wait on him to fix himself.
because it doesn't matter if you were cheated on or if you cheated- everyone is still deserving of love. and my mAns taught me this.
it's funny, we never even touched each other but i can feel exactly what a loving hug feels like or what a hand to hold feels like. it's wild. i see him on my skype and my world turns right side up and everything feels better for just a minute- and i soak up every minute with him.
i never wanted kids before- probably because im litteraly 15 or the fact my ex's were slightly concerning- but if i wasn't young, i feel like i would be ready (aFTER DATING FOR A FEW YEARS AND MARRIED FOR A FEW MORE AND WE BOTH WERE READY FOR IT- phew had to clear that up) i think i would.
but im hella awkward with kids so lmao idk.
but wow.
im in love.
also i found this;
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