The Book Of Abby

"special help"

a/n: im single now lol this is the longest ive been single in 2 years eEk. also, isn't this whole thing a authors note?

back to this topic.

so last night (November 17, 2019) i went to church for the first time in ACTUAL YEARS. oddly enough, i felt cleansed even though we ate dinner and talked amongst ourselves and prayed at the end. so we got a personal invite from our Pastor John and so Dad, Dru and I went. (i guess Mom dropped the religion after she cheated) so i went and rAN in heels.

anyway, i walked in scared because well, im in a church gathering while i almost had pre-marital sex (a no-no in the Christian world.) but of course, no one knew that. we walk in and Pastor John rUnS to us (just this like 6'5 guy running to us lmao) and welcomed us in and shook our hands and gave us hugs. we sit down in the corner because my family is socially awkward.

Pastor John makes 2 people from the table (the three of us amigos were at the table- Dad, Dru and I) and i made them leave. people came up to me and shook my hand and i was like;

"wow. hello fellow homo sapiens"

and even though i am not in it this year- or public school- i still told people i was in the JROTC. i think i made myself solid ground in there and this guy dad was talking to mentioned he was in the military and i iNSeRTed myself into that conversation lol.

wow i have problems. 

we ate dinner and i also got a capri sun because i wasn't feeling good and i am still approximately the age of -4. Pastor John, his wife, and his daughter sat with us along this guy name Jeff and we just conversed.

it was sick.

after that we had group prayer and some Come To Jesus Moments where people told us what they were thankful for and why and this guy said he was thankful for god saving his life when he tried to commit suicide.

i almost cried.

so today, my cousin- who is pregnant and the aCTUAL SPAWN OF SATAN was in the room when Dru and I told Mom about church and the conversation went like this;

Me: "Church was a special service last night, our pastor personally invited Dad, Dru and I to his neighborhood clubhouse for fellowship"

Adri (Satan's Spawn): "Yall need special help"

and bOY AREN'T I TRIGGERED.

LIKE OK SIS YOU ARE LITERALLY BARELY 18 HAVING A CHILD VIA PREMARITAL SEX, YOU'VE DONE DRUGS, YOU'VE RAN AWAY FROM HOME SEVERAL TIMES. THE LIST CAN GO ON AND ON.

yeah, im no saint either but at least im not a child having a child.

so boom. half a point for abby. oof that was rude.

*i get religious here*

i just- im not the most religious human ever. i curse, i get violent (rarely to the effect of injuring someone badly), i almost had sex, i don't pray as often as i should, i don't attend church every week. but i know one thing- i am a saved woman. i have been saved since June 1, 2014 and even if i think i don't deserve it, i have a spot in heaven. God loves us no matter how many mistakes we have made and his son gave his life us for us ungrateful people. now, hindsight is always 20/20 so i am going to church as many weeks as i can and im gonna get right with God.

gonna find me a mAnS who shares the same beliefs as i do and we will attend church every sunday. 

*end of religious Abby*

so thats my plan for now. get better and become bigger (lmao i will always be v short) and stronger (i will always be weak) than before. love myself and everyone around me and just be a better human.

so Adri, no i do not need "special help" what you need is a "special condom"