the only reason why being considered a hoe is because guys are replaceable to you and it hurts their feelings so they put you down for it.
okay that needed to be out there.
okay so somehow my dumbass managed to Kinda Get Back With Josh. i don't even know how i did that. to be honest, idek if we are or even where we stand. but i think i managed to do that and i did litteraly close to nothing.
i litteraly sent him a playlist he said he wouldn't listen to it.
i mentioned that when i go back to the public school that i would dramatically change my hair and he said if i dyed my hair we would break up and he hasn't texted me back since.
so a sis is real confused.
i don't know what i did or how i did this but im not even sure if i should be proud of myself lmao im so confused
anyway, i own a digital watch because i don't have a phone or know how to read a regular clock and it's made me really happy lmao im very lame.
also, the cover Gerard Way and Ray Toro did of "Happy Together" by The Turtles makes me really happy.
OH I ALSO LEARNED A JAPANESE WORD daijoubou (die-ja-boo.) "it'll be alright" IF IM NOT MISTAKEN. I WANNA GET THAT TATTOOED. on my arm. right under my tattoo of lettuce in japanese
I think in the past week and the coming weeks and days or whatever I will try to find things that make me happy.
- My watch (god im such a grandma)
-getting an email from Major telling me I'll be fine
-painting
-screaming Hamilton lyrics and relating immensely to the Second Act hoping i die in a duel in 3 years
-watching the office and crying at jim and pams relationship
-spending time with dad
so since my relationship is on the highest fence ever and if we fall over it into the "no go" i plan on going to the military and dying with 8465 cats. and live with torie in her basement.
bUT if we work out I will be a military WIFE and probably still die alone with my dumbass luck.
i will not participate in any one's bachelor parties.
unless if Q from Impractical Jokers gets married and he somehow gets my telegraph and he wants to have one last hookup before he gets tied down then he can tie me down. but he's like 10 years older than me so that's not gonna happen lmao
{here's Q from like 2018}
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im assuming my taste in guys is ones that look mean but are actually sweet and fUCk.
point being im dying alone.
if i go before torie she is solely responsible to carry on my legacy. my diaries (13 so far) will be published. my paintings will be hung in a museum in the house i died in unless i die in the woods then they will be sold for cancer research. that's about all i have to my name lmao.
god that is about to kill me realizing that one of us will have to go to the other funeral alone...
this got dark
YOU CAN KILL ME
YOU CAN STARVE ME
YOU CAN HURT ME
YOU CAN TAKE EVERYTHING TO MY NAME
but for the love of god
do not lay a finger on torie.
there we go.
also it should be noted that today October 8th, 2019 that I am 256 days clean. woot woot.
good job me.
i don't have a school mother, or brother. unless we count Devin. but he's unimportant right now. though i enjoyed my month and a half with him in IDT. he touched my thigh a lot lmao.
so im assuming that he is also a thigh guy.
god im not even cute lmao
anyway, this entire chapter was an mESS. idek what my point was going to be but here's this mess.
im working on a new story so that'll be up at some point. i think i'll have her do what i did that Thursday oOPs.
