The Book Of Abby

sorry head is filled with dope

okay, "colors" by Halsey is the best song ever fight me. the stripped version, specifically.

I see it as someone who did something really bad (not just a guy) killed themselves and their best friend (halsey) is singing at the funeral or I'm the stripped version I see it as someone singing it alone in the rain.

I listen to this while I do school work and I wanna cry everytime.

specifically this line kills me;

"You're only happy when your sorry head is filled with dope"

which I'm happy to report I have never had to take prescription drugs (in fact, I'm allergic to some!) and I've never had any street drugs either.

so no one can say my actions were the cause of drugs.

bc they weren't.

another line that sLaYs me is;

"Everything is blue, his pills, his hands, his jeans and now I'm covered in the colors pull apart at the seams"

like... HOW IS THIS NOT ABOUT SOMEONE WHO OVERDOSED.

idk but it makes me sad. i love it.

I haven't been too much of a sad sock lately. I've had some great friends help me out.

so thank you Christine, Torie, Travis, Ashton, Genesis, Major and PJ.

I love all of you so much.

fact: genesis is also in alt school and did the same thing as me but with 2 guys lmao at the age of tHIRTEEN.

found out no one sits at my spot at the lunch table at school. which I'm happy they didn't replace me but its depressing yk?

so Friday afternoon when dad gets off work we are going lipstick shopping so when I go to his coworkers I can show her the dOPE lipstick I use lmao and try to pry his other coworker out of the room he's staying in (Skyler is in the exact situation as dad)

I called dad's coworker (the one I'm showing lipstick to) Aunt Karla because she's pretty dope. Karla is really cool and all. she has a brand new pool, a brand new house, bills, sends her mom some money every 2 weeks and sTILL offered dad money and Skyler a room to stay in.

OF COURSE I'M CALLING HER AUNT KARLA THIS WOMAN IS GODDESS.

anyway, I'm a sleepy sock. goodnight xx.