The Book Of Abby

365 rewind time

as of today i am now officially 365 days clean from self harm (and two day because im an idiot and writing this two days later)

looking back i am astonished on how i made it.

well first i would like to thank my friends. not for saving me, no, for giving me the strength to save myself. (even travis u douche) 

just some hOnErAbLe mEmBeRs of this cLiQuE;

torie, christine, allie, travis, josh (wow!), austin (havent talked to him in months), kyron, emma, major. 

so thank you all for giving me the strength to get up off my knees. i havent seen any of you in actual months but i miss you all so dearly. and apparently travis misses me on the bus lol.

secondly, a lot of good things happened since the last time i cut and two days ago.

- ROB FRICKIN THOMAS.

- pawpaws cancer is in remission

- i got my dumbass out of a bad relationship (2)

- got my helpless ass into a great relationship and dumbassed it so badly i got expelled.

- spent a hella ton of time with family (mostly dads side)

- had a lot of self-reflection

- went to my country's damn capitol and emma almost set the room on fire with a hair straightener on the bed shoutout to emma

- i fuckin survived it

this past year im throwing the negative away and i will focus on the positive. i made it? i made it? I FUCKING MADE IT.

i am beyond proud of myself 367 days clean. trust me it was a long year (and two days) and i really wanted to end it all several times but i didn't.

heres my strategy. find something short term to look forward to.

for me it's seeing my dad. 

then find something long term.

for me, its pawpaw's cancer being 100% gone.

have i made mistakes this past year, hella. but i've grown up- hindsight is always 20/20 and its 2020...

the year of hindsight and Matchbox Twenty returning.

sorry im a whore for mb20 dont @ me

i've been getting into tea lately. its really calming and warm and dad bought me a to-go mug for it which my mOTHER BOUGHT THE SAME ONE MOM GET UR OWN DAD *shuts up*

anyway lady grey tea slaps ot tastes like fruity pebbles which i stan so hard.